MoTiOn SiCkNeSs (first drop in a hott min.)

Intro: Some things need years to develop…others…only need days. Some things possess vast amounts of tangible power…others…obtain endless amounts of indescribable power. Some things devastate and destroy…others…complete and rebuild. There is one thing…I know…which has the ability to attain all of these characteristics…

Mornin’ arrives…and you don’t want ta get Out of Bed/
Open your eyes…and shut em’, disgraced with How ya Live/
Talented…but Now you Quit, much rather be Boxed…Up Inside/
Ignore emotions…About ta Flip, tragically Dropped and Stuck with Pride/
Oblivious to Illustrious Lies…so your painfully Scared to Love/
No one Cares Enough…so when push comes…u’r not Prepared to Shove/

Slowly days creep by…alone and miserable…your head Hangs Low/
Isolate yourself…Blame Hope, can change face…but Caint Choke/
Clearly…Caint Cope…heartache and trouble from Relationship Struggles/
Kind demeanor…Basically Coupled with a torn interior…Makin’ Knees Buckle/
Numbness…Hatefully Doubled, tryin to move on and Forget tha Past/
Equipped to Last…your heart regains strength…now, a Gift that’s Wrapped/
So Quick ta Pass…up dates, love waits…eventually you Hope ta Live With/…
Someone who deserves your heart and accelerates love…Motion Sickness/

Feelings welcome eMotion…slowly you Re-Open your Eyes and Mind/
Obtain consciousness, Awoken by potent explosions of hope…you Decide to Find/
Remain Focused…Buy sum Time, behold Lyfe with a Grasp and Clutch/
Everyone Asks for Trust…deny critics… their only chance to Laugh it Up/
Slapped with Cuffs…idleness exists…Compelled to Traffic…Trapped Wit/…
Held you Captive…overWhelmed with Action…you can’t Tell what Happened/
Attracted…suddenly…Without a Magnet…her Beauty’s Relentless/
Determined…cant Truly Forget This…motivation’s ever-present…Losing Resistance/
Other Duties…Simplistic…Moving tha Distance to hopefully Catch Her Eye/
With her…Seconds Fly, she must be an angel from heaven…which Severed Ties/
Searching for Better Times…you both lock hands and create new Lyfe Goals/…

Life Grows, tha emptiness is gone…like Cupid…you’re LOVES Disciple/
Utopian dreams…Find Hope, so reality bestows Luv…with Oceans of Distance/
Vitality arrives along with Notions of Mystics, some call it Stupidity…others call it…

Love…I call it “Motion Sickness”/

this was real nice man. something to tell you though man, poetry don't alway's have to rhyme dude.
you know what im sayin...
cause this could fit in open mic forums well also.
anyways, back to the peice...the whole peice itself was real good. the imagery was something,
i have never saw in a peice before to be honest with you.
i mean like...everything was practically on point, and fit in well together homie. ya feel me.
only flaw that i didn't like that much, was your stretched lines man. im really not to fond of that.
but it dont really matter. i can still read it, and critique it. anyways, overall this was a good peice.
i give it a 8.5/10. props yo.

...........return the favor.........

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118556

doing pieces like that can be a challenge but man you pulled it off VERY well. the intro was good and made me want to read the whole piece. content was great with good decripitions and detail. the whole piece just worked, none of the lines seemed forced to go with the first letter. your thoughts were drawn out good and kept it an interesting piece. flow was great and the structure well i love it. love the whole piece.

T

nyce lookin with tha feedback.....thanx for tha props, its good to know that not everybody is sleepin on my ish...........no worries Marek...i'll return tha favor, once again Thanx, stay real, peace, 1

come on....sumone hit it up atleast one more time.....tryin not to get slept on more than a narcoleptics pillow.....peace, 1