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Please God
Please God
http://www.princeton.edu/~puge/Praying%20Hands.gif
Dear God...
I wanted to ask you a question.
I wanted to know...
Were you ever planning on lifting my depression?
I wanted to tell you the truth...
Lots of people have it better than me.
I wanted you to know,
I'm tired of not being able to truly see.
I'm sick of things not going my way.
Something just has to give...
I need something to help me,
I need some way to live.
Lots of people have it worse than I,
And I understand that so ever clearly.
And I guess that all I'm asking,
Is to hold someone very dearly.
I don't mean to sound selfish,
But I suppose that's how I seem.
But life is just so very hard,
When you're the only member of your team.
It's tough when you're all alone,
And no one understands.
I might as well not be here,
I can't stand these changing lands...
God I want to come with you
Just Take Me By My Hand
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Re: Please God
Nice little simple piece, i liked the comparrison between people having it worse AND better than you... it kind of gave it a more realist feel rather than a bitching session lol... once again it's in a classic style... yet not something that would displease rb people as it's easy to understand and grasp as far as language use goes, and wording. it's also a piece people can relate to, i mean i'm not religious, but i can definately realte to the feelings and emotion here... that kind of despiration for things to get better... nice piece.
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Re: Please God
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Re: Please God
open for more feed lets go.
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Re: Please God
i'm not a religious person by any means so it didnt appeal to me on that aspect. but morally i cant let poets get slept on, nah mean? lol. still was enjoyable, like the other guy said it was simple, but still clever and well structured. my first poem i ever wrote was along these lines...strange being that as i said i'm not religious...your approach here was nice, it had a sort of humbleness to it by not assuming the subject of the piece has it worse off than the next guy. that in itself is admirable. another enjoyable read. much respect.
peace