Him.

He sits on fate's back and he kicks him to get him to go faster
spits in a rhythm, the flow master, soul blaster
young dude but the spirit within him's an old bastard
rippin' and killin' his foes after spittin' his villainous prose
no hero, he's a villain and still on his toes
his mission is simple, it's hoes, kissin' then slittin' their throats
a vicious, meticulous, rogue, if your kids have been missing
they're sitting with him in a boat, he pinched 'em and filled 'em with dope
and a fictional feeling of hope, he's itchin' to kill 'em, something in him is chilling
it's cold, he's in the kitchen and fillin' his nose with coke, comatose
woke himself up from near death then overdosed, going coast to coast
looking for the grossest hoes in six cities with big titties to motorboat
he gets giddy and stows a rope under his overcoat, the shit's gritty
he listens to voices inside of his mind, explicit and poisonous violent crime
picture him poised as he's trying to find bitches and boys just to tie 'em in binds
it isn't a choice it's a sign of the times, the religious are voiceless, compliant, and blind
he exists to rejoice in defiance, at times, a little bit boisterous, a tyrant designed
to belittle the King and give the Lion his pride, put the lying aside
the truth is destruction, the world is flowing loose in a fluxion of useless production
consumed with consumption, so what he has to do is to loosen the suction
of a blueprint keeping the youth in a dungeon, a movement is comin'
so he'll never call a truce 'cause he won't follow the rules of corruption
he sees the wolves in discussion of how to trap the sheep
a masterpiece of mass deceit, a massive feat of keeping us at the teat
and the master's feet, a net they cast to sea just to trap the free, blasphemy
but he will be the last to be captured he's an absentee from the academy of apathy
he'll be damned if he is trapped in the baptistery of fantasy
he will never fall under the canopy of pageantry, he's keeping his faculties workin'
the man you'll see lurkin', gallantly searchin' for a way to keep the planet free from atrophy
erasing the work of those raised in the dirt, brainwashed from craze after craze
he feels their pain as they 'twerk', confusion in their veins
from a world that's intrusive, insane, and berserk
so if you're alone and you feel someone grab your face and it hurts...
...worry not, it's just him, and he's saving the earth.

nice drop... but i'm too stoned right now to get into it bro lol, Ill leave some proper feed later

oh and links m8

thanks man.

links coming.

Some really complicated rhyme schemes here - well done. One line I really felt, "it isn't a choice it's a sign of the times, the religious are voiceless, compliant, and blind he exists to rejoice in defiance, at times, a little bit boisterous, a tyrant designed
to belittle the King and give the Lion his pride, put the lying aside." My only suggestion would be to bring some current events into this so we get a better idea of who this guy is and what exactly he is battling. Of course, that's just what I would like, but others might disagree.

thanks man, just a quick key i did a month or so ago, kinda just random thoughts loosely tied together, i might add to it at some point but probably not cuz i'm lazy like that lol

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...4649-Evolution

I remember this one. Good move by separating them into individual lines and not a paragraph (they really hate paragraphs here). See you later, cuz. We need to collab soon, brah. If you write anything send it my way.

THIS IS A BIT CRYPTIC...AND SEEM LIKE YOU MIGHT DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS

You have 48 hours to get two links up or i'm afraid this will be closed. @Witty.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-Cheating-mofo

Up fuck nuggets.

As Zen said, most do hate paragraphs here lol. I put myself in that lot who aren't big on paragraph form.
But I've gotten to know the ones who write that way and respect that that's the way they do things.
I just prefer a more clean cut way of wording, in shorter, symmetrical lines lol.

He sits on fate's back and he kicks him to get him to go faster
spits in a rhythm, the flow master, soul blaster
young dude but the spirit within him's an old bastard I might have died a little. lol. Friggen hell. I loved this intro.
rippin' and killin' his foes after spittin' his villainous prose
no hero, he's a villain and still on his toes
his mission is simple, it's hoes, kissin' then slittin' their throats Awesome rhymes that don't belong just to fluff up the piece, but
have substance that adds to the tale in leaps and bounds.
a vicious, meticulous, rogue, if your kids have been missing
they're sitting with him in a boat, he pinched 'em and filled 'em with dope
and a fictional feeling of hope, he's itchin' to kill 'em, something in him is chilling
it's cold, he's in the kitchen and fillin' his nose with coke, comatose Another great lot of bars.
It's got an Eminem vibe about it, with its trippy lyrics. Really like that bit ....'and a fictional feeling of hope...'
woke himself up from near death then overdosed, going coast to coast
looking for the grossest hoes in six cities with big titties to motorboat
he gets giddy and stows a rope under his overcoat, the shit's gritty
he listens to voices inside of his mind, explicit and poisonous violent crime Niiiiiiice. Cool wording.
picture him poised as he's trying to find bitches and boys just to tie 'em in binds
it isn't a choice it's a sign of the times, the religious are voiceless, compliant, and blind
he exists to rejoice in defiance, at times, a little bit boisterous, a tyrant designed
to belittle the King and give the Lion his pride, put the lying aside What a great stack of rhymes. That flow is lush.
the truth is destruction, the world is flowing loose in a fluxion of useless production
consumed with consumption, so what he has to do is to loosen the suction
of a blueprint keeping the youth in a dungeon, a movement is comin'
so he'll never call a truce 'cause he won't follow the rules of corruption
he sees the wolves in discussion of how to trap the sheep These rhymes run smooth too.
a masterpiece of mass deceit, a massive feat of keeping us at the teat lol. perfectly put. Nice one Witty.
and the master's feet, a net they cast to sea just to trap the free, blasphemy
but he will be the last to be captured he's an absentee from the academy of apathy Very clever. 'absentee from he academy of apathy. That's good.
he'll be damned if he is trapped in the baptistery of fantasy
he will never fall under the canopy of pageantry, he's keeping his faculties workin' I like how you change the rhyme at the end, and
then continue that rhyme in the next bar. I mean, I've obviously seen it before, I just think you pull it off so well.
the man you'll see lurkin', gallantly searchin' for a way to keep the planet free from atrophy
erasing the work of those raised in the dirt, brainwashed from craze after craze
he feels their pain as they 'twerk', confusion in their veinslol another king midus moment.
from a world that's intrusive, insane, and berserk
so if you're alone and you feel someone grab your face and it hurts...
...worry not, it's just him, and he's saving the earth.


Witty, gotta hand it to you, this was great. I really, really liked it.
I thought your flow was smooth as. I thought there was a multitude of rhymes....internals scattered everywhere, there's heaps
of really great words. I like the concept and I think you did a good job staying true to it. I think you had some good imagery
in your verse and you spat it well in that it didn't stagnate for me when I read it out loud.
To be honest with you, I'm really impressed with this drop.
I thought it kicked major ass.

Top Stuff Witty.

Really Cool Read.

Thank you :)

Upward!

holy fuck. the ending is pretty ill. the flow is intense and follows through for the full piece, minus a few exceptions,

...being "to belittle the King and give the Lion his pride" which was an obvious flow break, "at the teat", although you remedied nicely with "cast to sea just to trap the free, blasphemy" still sounded off enough to me, but i have a keen eye for flow, and tweaking it slightly would make it come out right when speaking it, if you ever spoke this, i would tweak those parts a tiny bit.

"the truth is destruction, the world is flowing loose in a fluxion of useless production
consumed with consumption, so what he has to do is to loosen the suction
of a blueprint keeping the youth in a dungeon, a movement is comin'
so he'll never call a truce 'cause he won't follow the rules of corruption" is the best segment of the entire piece for being amazingly smooth and having the most interesting content, aside from the entire ending being awesome. I think that's where the piece started to take off, and become more than just crazy flow, minus the minor flow hiccup directly after the best segment, but i'm just picky about wording.

This was fucking insane.