my Boy or Girl

Hard to decide who's telling the truth
did my boy hit on my girl or is it oppsite
are they socializing sexually right under my nose
or are they just friend's who get along well
does she like him and is she using me to get with him
does she really love me the way she say she does
and is he really my nigga to the end
why do I catch them talking to eachother on the phone alout
and why does she pay alout of attention to him
why are these question's running threw my mind like brain cells
am I too worry or is there really something to worry about
should I stay with her or should i just leave her
and should I chill with him or should I turn my back on him
why does she smile alout when she see's him
damn i'm confuse should I stay or leave
should I belive or distrust who do I pick my boy or girl

ewwwwwwwwwww this was a nasty piece.......and i mean nasty in the best possible way ...i liked the socilizing right under your nose line that gave the whole story line right there
my i only problem with this poem was your first line it was kinda information less , usually in a piece like this you wanna hit teh reader hard in the first line or two to get there attention full yon your piece and hook em into it... i felt your first line was a lil weak in a good plot to draw me in......
but overall the story line was great ( a common one) but great damn cheaters anyways eh.... great lil drop and we appreciate you replying and dropping
hazy

thank you ........and it's cause i just made da poem up right now when i was typing at at first i waaasn't into it but then i was ...................appreciate the feedback

more feedback tell me wat you thought wat i need to work on ????

aiight since i aint into poems i cant really tell u wat to work on but i felt ya shit young hov

I'm sorry i just didnt think this piece was good.
U used no poetic techniques whatsoever, it was like u were just casually talkin to a friend, the story was all over the place. The only effective thing was that u could tell the narrator was confused but it didnt have much depth as a poem.

sorry homie but im just keepin it real with honest feed, i'd appreciate if u did the same on my poem 'dead weight'

ight respect that and i just started writing poems so thats prolly why you ain't feel this..............

yeah, well definitely keep at it, we're all elevating everytime we write sumthin. im still elevating myself. keep at it. 1

ight thankz

feedback

not bad son...Seems like you tried to put your thoughts on paper and did a descent job with the deliverance. However, while the mispelling of words is okay in open mics, it is unacceptable in poetry. In your next piece, try increasing your vocab. Pretty straight drop....

thank you

this was aiight......nastey to me...flow was smooth.....im wasnt feelin it too much........just keep it up....and choose a different topic for your poem next time...lol..aiight anywayz..peace

thankz 4 the feed

it was ok but, i like poetry that rhymes betta than not rhyming. start rhyming and maybe you'll be betta

i aint into poetry much but i felt this alot. maybe its one of them topics that alot of us can read it and relate to it but like some1 else said i cant really say what u need 2 work on bcoz i dont do it myself. only thing i thought is why it didnt rhyme? but i dont know
felt it though, good drop

I don't make my poems rhyme I just express myself