Rhyme Cypher

Front and I'll have to show you the bully's special prize ,
I'm shock proof to your lyrical mechanics with a fully metal eye ,
Kaid the Judge is in session ,
criminals In the ruling better rise ,
Tellin time on the race track that the muley’s numbers by ,
The boss puts the “18th hole” in you ,
My tooly’s shootin fine ,
Spittin artic flows ,
so should he cool his rhymes ,
or up and pull his nines ,
Fillin jokers up with bullets from a bully’s special prize

next rhyme: never hit next

I'm the last one to miss & I'm never hit next,
So cold I just gave a bitch a yeti skin dress,
I got bored of porn, there's nothing like a real set of big breasts,
On board with pawns, same, I'm heavy in chess,
I'm only calm if I'm pumped full of adrenaline, stressed,
A heart rate of 180 would be sedative-esque,
Tell em 'fuck ya fam' like I peddle incest,
One second shit is normal, the next second; pink text,
It doesn't take much to go from "fuck guns, everything's blessed",
To squeezing out a shell like a terrapin's head

Next Rhyme: Formulated

Ay, that was awesome-rated.
Personally I believe laws are sacred...
I paused and waited as the court debated whether I can base a legal defence on shit Cyndi Lauper stated.
(Girls just wanna have fun, and I just wanna get more fellated, so surely we’re all elated..?)
I rock my Jordans naked and that shit’s coordinated.
I ride an enormous spaceship, while rocking some throwback clothes from the Georgian ages.
I was saving this big sheet of acid tabs, but my porpoise ate it.
This time, I ain’t gonna write any lines which are Soar related...
Ah shit, see I can’t help it, it’s like it’s automated.
Shit’s ‘Soar’ related like my sword’s serrated.
I dropped enough ket to leave a goddamn horse sedated.
I’m calm like a storm abated.
Conducting myself like the scorn and hatred’s orchestrated.
This ain’t even rap, just some thoughts narrated.

Next rhyme: cotton socks

I'd bless my cotton socks if I hadn't worn them so long they'd turned into solid blocks,
Why aren't there more helicopter shops?
This bias towards cars has got to stop,
I think MC Ren might be gay, probli cos,
On alwayz into somethin he tried to top the pops by saying his friends had donkey cocks,
I tie girls up in car parks, it's knot a lot,
I did a survey of how often people said 'not a lot',
most of the answers were 'not a lot' & not 'a lot',
I'll die if I don't fuck a bitch, I'm on my Spock,
I be givin her all she's got like Scotty's job,
Lost the plot since they sold the allotment off and built a coffee spot,
Part man part machine, I'm an atomic boss,
beat em with my arms behind my back like Doctor Ock

Next Rhyme: Rubber Band

Something something rubber band.
I only fuck bareback; the rubber banned.
I give TLC their TLC, yeah, I rub a band.
Nah I never tried to rub a band, just amass-useless Usher fans.
Uh.
I’m going through A4, like the London Strand.
Too cheap to buy a rubber band, so lost a hundred grand.
I told a bitch to show her tits, unless she had some udder plans.
If she ain’t understand and remove the tee, I leave her under sand.
I ain’t gotta raise a fist to get the upper hand.
I smuggled grams from wonderland.
Run summer camps in drugzistan.
слово моим русским фанатам.

Next rhyme: narrative arc

Bochka bass kolbaser I stay bangin the Tsar,
Couple weeks ago I piped a slag in a park,
left mostly red, post climax like a narrative arc,
D12 chorus - I think chance is bizarre,
Ever since I mastered the art de la stab in the dark,
Sometimes I can't tell lettuce and cabbage apart,
so I just eat something bad for my heart like packets of carbs because the government advise eat less but don't actually starve,
and as slack as they are,
as much as they're accused of causing cancer and SARS,
being the driving force in a gambling farce,
having links with groups that like to shag young lads in the arse,
having no warrant & starting fires to raid cannabis farms,
And holding national elections between a wank and a fart,
at least they gave the people a daily calorie chart,
we don't know where the joy ends and the happiness starts

Next Rhyme: Radiant Foreskin

Nature adoring; I spot shrooms in the woods which I’m taking a walk in,
Then I wake in the morning draped in a boar skin.
I stay Jameson pouring til I’m drained of endorphins.
They say I fucked up the party, like the papers reporting on Labour and Corbin.
I got a radiant foreskin, I made a recording for an alien porn ring,
Paid for performing, got ladies contorting, naked cavorting.
I was getting head, and heard her complain it was boring...
But then I saw it was her labia talking.

Next rhyme: overgrown

The hair on my toes is prone to become overgrown,
I should flip out the razor like a Motorola phone,
But I only bring it out at Xmas like home alone,
My brain goes into limp mode when I roll a cone,
Deep thoughts, illuminati is chocolate because toblerone,
I wanna see what happens to twins if you told em both that they're real but the other is a soulless clone,
I reminisce how many times I broke in homes,
How did I do it? I just broke in, homes,
Other than a couple of broken gnomes I left no clues, working it out would've broken Holmes,
I'm so driven in life only my chauffer knows,
So laid back the motor on my sofa groans,
Unless I lose my cool like polar zones & get so hot under the collar I melt shoulder bones

Next Rhyme: Tom & Jerry

Uh, I’ve got a fake ID that says I’m viscount Robert Terry Dongleberry.
Shit I thought it would be easy to find rhymes for Tom and Jerry, but it wasn’t very.
As a kid I watched the telly, but not Tom and Jerry coz I wasn’t ready for that level of sociopolitical commentary.
I’ve popped some cherries like I robbed a deli and it’s gotten messy.
I drive a stolen mobster Chevy and try to buy cops off with chocolate pennies.
I ride a wild dromedary, or flee from police cars on my donkey Debbie.
I’ve burned some bridges, and I’ve bombed a ferry.
I’ve been social distancing since the cops locked me in solitary.
One night in my life would send the rocker Lemmy to a monastery.
I’ve always got a bottle ready; my house looks like an apothecary.
I break in old folks homes for a drop of sherry when I want a bevvy.
I break in old folks homes and then I swap canaries for cassowaries.

Next rhyme: police pursuits

I got into a 40 mile police pursuit which ended abruptly while speeding through the local B&Q in a diesel coupe,
All because I shooed away a sick bird, made an illegal move,
The feds asked me to hand over my license n proceeded to say "viscount Robert Terry Dongleberry, I know him and dont believe it's you",
I start the day with a big cuppa beetle juice,
cuz it's got an unorthodox kick like Rene Higuita's boots,
I'm so complex with 'I spy', I renamed it 'I spy n here's a clue',
I got into a fight after a piece of pizza flew through the air and stained my newest fila suit,
Shit got me more cross than the Jesus crew,
we argued, he said "outside mother fucker me n you",
I told him "1 minute mate, just need the loo",
Then beat him with it until I split the seat in 2

Next Rhyme: Bleach the sink

I don't need detergent ,
I'll just bleach the sink ,
Pop ya blood vessel in ya eye till you see in pink ,
Shootin james bond guns ,
you don't wanna meet the piece ,
My girl loves orgasms and eatin cream with meat ,
Indeed I speak ,
and I force enough jizzim down her throat to feed a beast ,
Cat’s in my hood say “your jeans are neat!” ,
Not! ,
Just imagine it as the opposite of how a fiend would speak ,
By the dealers side is a team of jeeps ,
I’m with the black flames ,
So obviously I got another breed of heat

next rhyme: blue steel

Ay yo, I just saw the newsreel...
Soar’s back, with renewed zeal!
I’m so glad the wounds healed.
Hey I was gonna write some huge spiel about how for you writing rap is like tryna squeeze juice yield from fruit peel, but it’s too real, I’d be worried how you’d feel...
If I said my knife was some blue steel, you’d say it ain’t blue, it’s, like, goose teal, or some shit.
Ay, wait, forget about blue steel...
You’d need some navy guns, like, recruit SEALs.
Fuck it, recruit SHIELD, on a group deal,
I’m armed with blue steel and a boot heel like the dude in Doom wields.
You’ve got a fake ID, says you’re Madame Lucille Bloomfield.
I can relate, I get called ‘loose eel!!’;
I swim nude in the sea, women soon squeal.
Sounds like when I’m cornering my coupe up on two wheels.

Next rhyme: request denied

I stopped a bitch with big breasts n thighs,
N said "you're just gonna eat that chicken like it never died?",
She told me "fuck you n your bullshit veggie pride",
Said she'd hate me forever, and it stood de-test of time,
I failed to prevent a fight after the friendly guy at the rent a ride said "request denied, you're on the heavy side, and would likely give the donkey a deflected spine",
Ant was better when I was watching him wreck the mic,
Dec was better when I was watching him wreck the mic,
I ran out of money, meth n pipes,
So now I'm home alone doing the electric slide with a lighter, some tin foil n insecticide

Next Rhyme: Turtle's head

A turtlehead, I’d prefer instead of a squirtlehead.
That’s some shit which I bit from a script Goethe said.
I refer to ket and Percocet as herbal meds.
I called the morgue this morning to reserve a bed.
My internals are so sick, my surgeon fled.
Screw the truth, I’ll refute the proof when I’m confirmed as dead.
I was about to murder feds, but one turned and pled “show me Mersey”, so I drowned him near Birkenhead.
...I guess I might’ve misheard ...sorry Colonel Fred.
I ride a Tesco shopping trolley down a hill and call it urban sled.
I sell fish tanks, but they can’t work the treads.
I propose a toast, like a person wed to some burning bread.

Next rhyme: Beluga whale

I had some slazenger shoes for sale, Part exed em for tenner and a beluga whale,
Bite my flow? Scratch that I'll fight em tooth n nail,
They get carried on tracks like they use the rail,
I force feed mother fuckers pubes n kale,
If they doubt me havin a pen like a Cuban jail,
There's no better way to amuse a male than to watch a woman's 3 point manoeuvre fail,
I got a 12 guage when it shoots it hails,
And the shells so hot they could seduce a snail,
They got dicks so small it's like bemusing braille,
I got a never-ending story, that's the hugest tail

Next Rhyme: Carbon Fibre

Edit - that fish tank line is next level haha