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Thread: Forced to Kill.

  1. #1

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    Forced to Kill.

    Forced to Kill.

    I loved her..her face touched my heart with perswation
    as my eyes wonder'd..i relied on her blurring my vision
    no decision..proclaimed my vowels and locked them away
    swore I’d never put her second..at first till my dying day
    but betray was itching away at her..a wondering mind
    captured with my own eyes..but for love forced to be blind
    kept it confined..in pray that she'd have a change of heart
    but as my anger blossomed larger..so did our time apart
    I was smart..stayed in pending, pretending I didn't no
    as my feelings transformed..for my heart finally broke
    tried to provoke..anger and physical hatred for them
    but he took my soul mate..how could this love still condemn
    called a friend..ashured him nothing would curupture
    a liar..but had the rite as they broke down our structure
    time to rupture..the past six years of my upbringing
    I witnessed them..looking me in the eye and still clinging
    brushed my piece..feeling the rush and repeating a prayer
    wounds that could not repair..plugging two to the player
    still aware..my loved one was now bordering crazy
    I killed her......but is was a broken heart that made me.


    Made legends on another site...so thaught id see what you think?
    Last edited by nolonger; September 15th, 2004 at 11:06 AM

  2. #2

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    Last edited by nolonger; September 14th, 2004 at 11:39 AM

  3. #3

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    rite lets get some feed.

  4. #4
    Cutt Raw. Jynx's Avatar
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    damn yo this shit was really i good...i love readin shit that peeps right about girls....your verse was really good.i was really feelin the multis your flow was real easy to go with..and the imagery was great...good job on this shit man....this reminds me of a legend verse that i read

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  5. #5

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    word at legends...lol....thanks alot man...i would love it if it made it.

  6. #6
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    eh..it was ok..def not legendary...far from it...you spellign errors killed it...i hate spellign errors...your flow was good...your imagery was good, your structure was ok...but the spelling errors were bad...eh...not bad...good...not great...def not legendary
    Bittersweet

  7. #7
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Yo I Think This Ish Wuz Doing It Right No Doubt CAME Hard Thoughtful And Percise With Delivery And Wordplay This Shit Hjot
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  8. #8

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    thank wp.......spelling is fixed......up

  9. #9

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    up please...

  10. #10

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    come on r.b

  11. #11
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    well man not the most original peice, seen this sorta thing done a few times, and with the same ending, but asides from that, technically it was decent, not the most complex, but quite smooth and some nice rhyming, thought the first bars rhyming was a bit off, but yea mostly decent... the emotion wasnt bad, could have been a bit more heart felt, but not bad.... good verse

    could you hit my latest OM plz...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=146408
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  12. #12
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    this was good feeling the flow feelin the content and the way you made evreything flow so well was nice ive seen pieces like this before but i felt like you did it better then post keep spittin homie good work

  13. #13

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    thanks you 2.

  14. #14

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    bounce.

  15. #15

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    deserves more.

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