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Thread: Im going to put it all in this one

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    California
    Age
    35
    Posts
    549
    Battle Record
    19-19

    Im going to put it all in this one

    shit

    bitch im an assassin, but i dont use guns i'll slit your throat the fastest
    they'll have to super glue your head to ya neck in the open casket
    i go to audios and see bitches rappin with old beats
    they can suck my fucken dick-im serious, no teeth
    cause im ill yo, i get called crazy for no reason
    im cold blooded, heh i only kill in snow season
    to me rhymes come to life, I can hear your flows breathin
    but i dont got nines i got knifes, remember? ill have its throat bleedin
    i love ta wrestle caucasian's only on special occasions
    when im tired of these stressfull asians like a test full of equations
    so stop testin my patience im a second from deckin your face in!
    im wreckin the next person and the place hes nestin his eggs in
    i warned ya not to come to california theres a swarm of killa bees!
    theres very little peace, car bombs go off exactly like the middle east!
    cause ill swipe your last bit of cheese, im just a little squeeze from shootin your little neece!

    damn

    this stuff usually happens when u got a gun and u usually nervous
    then shit happens, and u like why the fuck am i doin community service?
    i feel like im dancin and amusin these merchants!
    im doin their damn fucken job, im gettin used and abused and accused of not workin!
    fuck i cant stand it any more im gettin shot at randomly anystore
    im paying pennies for, these petty whores all on ma dick and of so quick
    im not fuckin shit no more, im done, but soon as i stop and quit
    i cough and my response is SHIT, i got hiv and my dick gots a itch
    but fuck it, i go back to spittin these rhymes
    talkin shit i never done commitin these crimes...damn

  2. #2
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,866
    Battle Record
    3-0
    I thought the first verse had some nice raw parts to it. Saw some lines that could have been much better with rewording, but that will come with practice. You switched up your flow, but it worked in some places. I liked the first verse better, with its internal rhyming. The second seemed to stray off subject.
    Return the feedback
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168531

  3. #3
    Lady Redd
    Guest
    [/B]That was tite!!! That shit was different!!!

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    33
    Posts
    343
    Battle Record
    0-1
    nice man...........uve elvated since u joined hurr

  5. #5
    ******
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    34
    Posts
    4,002
    Battle Record
    9-2
    It was alright .. I felt that some lines could have been worded better .. but overall goodjob. Thanks for the read.
    - u n r e a L -
    . . . and yet still keep shit real

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    the one since '99

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  7. #7
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Rich City VA
    Age
    38
    Posts
    41
    Battle Record
    0-1
    yo this was some raw shit on some old dmx eattin niggaz type shit

    look out and check minez
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...gend+continues

  8. #8

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