Kill Yourself.

[Engivale]

This shit gets so old being a spectacle,
Undress my soul and see my spirit naked blessed and whole,
Respectable but not treated respectfully,
Fuck McCain and Obama - We should be electin' me,
Just check your seat, under it's the bomb I placed,
The long debate's over and I know it's all gone to waste,
This economy based on monopoly money's what we otta replace,
Thanks for the fake gold and copper we just put in our pockets and banks!
I'm a lesson filled with what I learned from thought provoking,
This rock and roll thing died when I decided I've not been joking,
Fuck this pot and liquor shot, I just had a moment of clarity,
I lost every good woman that thought they would eventually marry me,
I turned into the scary me, the guy who's quiet and hates this
Life and wants to riot and take a tire iron to racists,
Fly on a spaceship and leave this planet like Kris Kain,
It's my turn but I'm so fucking tired of this game,
At 18 I lived in a daydream and thought I was smart,
I thought I could never fill up my fucking bottomless heart,
But all of it starts to catch up as you age quickly,
Fuck RB, Fuck my job, FUCK EVERYONE --- Say it with me,
I give up - I'm done - Fuck inspiration,
I want you to want to quit, too, and think of self-inflicted strangulation,
Just bang your face in and hang yourself in your closet,
Keep looking for my mind - I threw it away, I haven't lost it,
Turn on the faucet and wait until the bath is hot,
Then plug in a toaster and drop it in and laugh a lot,
I load a pistol and stick my head in the oven,
And play russian roulette to see which kills me first - The weapon or plug-in,
Just follow suit and put your car in neutral,
Lay down behind it on a hill and look at the stars til' you spill
Out of your own head and you're finally
Freed from your body and mind and you've died with me,
If you're too scared now, just wait, you'll get the itch,
Suicide's easy - It's just fucking Life's a bitch.
I write this shit to ease the pain,
She's to blame, If we cut our wrists like this we bleed the same!
Evil came and struck me sightless but I see the game,
And tonight this is just me pumping my right fist to lead the change...
I may be the slavery,
I may be the occupation,
I may even maybe be the way we all stay in
Side of our boxes, like Christ on our crosses,
We've gotta die to be resurrected by whatever God is...


links later today.

[...Fini...]

"I load a pistol and stick my head in the oven,
And play russian roulette to see which kills me first - The weapon or plug-in,"

Gotta say this was one of the most creative lines i have seen in a while. I also love the use of consistant multies throughout the entire peice. The emotion is real which also makes this peice stand out as well. On like some dark eminem shit which is always ill. You got a real talent fam, i cant wait for ur next drop.

Edit: BTW I read ur battle with smoka so congrats on the win. The way you write is true hip hop. Nuff said.

[Vincent Maestro]

damn Eng....you kinda sounded like the madd rapper on this one lolz.....
the rhyme scheme was perfect...look who wrote it...your multies are consistently ill....the structure was wild but i can see thats cause the emotion you had when you wrote this....kinda like you just had to get it all out before you explode...."You talk about how you wanna retire but that emotion has only made your writing doper".
in that way you added dramatic irony to this....

some advice from one writer to another.....when you can't make up your mind whether to stop or not....that means you don't want to man
Like when you feel like writing is a chick you have a love/hate relationship with. Means you gone die with that slut...lol...peace notorious E.N.G.

oh yeah...I'm nomming this//

[I Write...U Bite]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-379297.html

^^^holla at ya sahab right quick

and...3...2..1...go:

this piece was good...you had some good multies in there...the rhyme scheme was easy to follow and consistent...you had some good transitions...i like how you continued some of the lines at the begining of the next line...i do that alot so ya know...i like that lol...your emotion was rather disturbing lol but it was there...very forward and present in this piece...it had nice imagery as well...the description was pretty vivid.

all in all i say this one was cool ya dig...

keep up that work that you keep up with

[Engivale]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rt-379575.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...fe-379566.html

thx guys, i will do some more RTF later and look at some other stuff.

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ow-379614.html


This was a really dope Eminem-like read. Kind've felt like I was reading some alternative lyrics to his 'The Way I Am" track. Loved this to be honest man.. story was something I could trully relate to (I was suicidle and angry with the 'world' for a few monthes not too long ago) and you had some really dope lines as pointed out by previous feedback givers. The imagery and flow is was I thought really helped carry this piece to greatness. Along with the emotion and wit. Nice shit, keep it up.. deserves HOF.

[nineties flava]

I enjoyed this piece... I don't have much affinity for the topic but you kept my interest for the most part (well, until you went into the emo wrists shit lol). The multis were on point for the most part and while the structure and flow was real off at points the content was strong the whole way through.

O/A this was nice... 8/10

Good shit. RTF on this if you can:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ix-379257.html

EDIT: I agree w/ Fini, that line was dope.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...me-379705.html
Hold Me... you already read half of it, I finally finished it.

happy with the finished product too, thanks for telling me to keep writing to it.






this was dope... aggressive and brutal... not usually what I see from you, but it was like a mega-emo-suicide note... I feel like this all the time though... it's life fucking with you and you just have to come on RB and reflect... it's weird... you've written the exact way I think about life these past few weeks... my girlfriend just made me leave OUR apartment tonight... and my friend got hit by a car and died last week... memorial's tomorrow... work blows... and RB's just getting old... all I can do is write, and I feel like that's what you're getting at here... everything is just fucked... life is so twisted... it's a nice piece, and strangely easy for me to relate to these days...


nice read bro...
keep writing for you, cuz if you don't then you will be missed...

[RaW MeNaCe]

This was a nice read i was diggin this very much. had nice flow and was never off topic not one bit.

Fuck RB, Fuck my job, FUCK EVERYONE --- Say it with me,
I give up - I'm done - Fuck inspiration

LMAO!!! This Open Written get's a 9.5/10
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...aw-379637.html

Good Looks :high: ....:boobs:

[AlphaMetric]

this was dope man.. i loved how you put everything togheter... it all made sense, every lines had a meaning to it.... very creative.... vocab was very creative... lots of creatives lines... it's flowed really well, one more verse and a chorus and you got urself a dope ass song there.... and i think it's possible, you rap good man, herd a couple audio of yours... dope.... the emotion was surely there, I loved how you put everything togheter.. good piece man, keep on writing and doing ya thing.. peace...

if ya got time, RTL http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-379711.html plz...

[Brandon Cee]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-379805.html
hit this ^

Engivale - you are my favorite read over anyone here without a doubt. There's no way to tell you this really, but I think you just read my soul and wrote it out for me. This was good man. A lot of emotion and imagery, plus the flow is always good. I mean, it seems like maybe I am thinking too "highly" of you right now, but this just hit me man. I haven't seen a piece that I could relate to this easy in forever. Nice job man - please hit up that link. Peace.

[Engivale]

every1, i will be RTF'ing later tonight, thanks for all the feed its been a real crazy three days, but I'm getting to it i finally have a night off but i gotta work all day, anyways, thanks again.