Rules can be found here
Good Luck
Rules can be found here
Good Luck
check good luck cry
GreaterDesignGrowers.com
Im not a rapper, im a gardener
Yup! You too bobby!
battle is extended.. Bob'll post tomorrow, I'll post up late tonight.
Requiem for a Dream
By: Cry
From the dawn and the eve, we're to frolic the seas,
a thousand young children bent on following dreams.
calling beliefs fakes and frauds of the Kings
whom were regrettably leading us all to the streets.
and as hollow old beasts these sirens scream from the coast,
we leave them ashore and sail in peace with their boats,
runaways of the world, we're all leaving as ghosts,
our turned backs holding knives left to gleam at our throats.
The ocean shrivels up, we're left with nothing but hatred,
no boat, and no water - yet no stomach to make it.
pacin' and turnin', our faces aged in the years...
on a search for those dreams, the voyage places us here.
the sun bakin' our fear of what disaster creates -
then runnin' 'round in the dark with what banter we saved,
as laughter replays, until after we wake..
when we can't tell our dead parents
what bastards we've made.
So exhausted from heat.. men dishonest and weak,
asking no more what if's - we take precautions to breathe.
all over war... started by pockets that bleed,
every nation followed suit, dropping bombs and disease,
'til the land grew scarce, flowers lost in the weeds,
snow melted from the mountains, every possible peak.
here, the law was to be... or be killed in defiance,
to conjoin hands with life and to feel it's alliance..
'cause in realness and vibrance - each fiber's precise,
this cold world wields a blanket dipped in fire and ice.
death is life's ultimatum... and it dines in disguise,
so just as anything that crumbles, we're required to rise.
Everything... is everything.
In every ring, every knock, every coward and flaw -
there lies absence and silence; the thundrous powers of Gods,
with just hours to stop, a whole millennium to go...
you're a chip off the old block until the pentium explodes!
so with just a bit of luck, I'll have a penny get me home,
as my ears give cover fire - cock the levy, ready? go!
but still...
I can't help but think -
that from the dawn and the eve, we're to frolic the seas,
a thousand young children bent on following dreams.
calling beliefs fakes and frauds of the Kings
whom were regrettably leading us all to the streets.
and as hollow old beasts, these sirens scream from the coast,
we leave them ashore and sail in peace with their boats,
runaways of the world, we're all leaving as ghosts,
our turned backs holding knives,
left to gleam at our throats.
...peace
Last edited by Cody Nash; October 9th, 2010 at 09:55 AM
a tribute
it seems pathetic... this redirection..
a chronology thats hard for me to keep specific....
these decongested, wheezes dripping..
are out an artery from a heart that bleeds it's recondition...
if I can't try my part, rhyming statements
my mind is lost, thinking outside the box I was raised in
times are blazing, and the insanity of this day
is without a steady mix of clarity, giving thanks..
the raritys a big trade for so many negative poles
there's never one thing I want to mention the most
so I get together this flow, considered immesurable
RIP a tribute to those, forever remembered in souls
the selfishness prose, I could thank my living alone
with a fist to the wall, thank the death of us all..(haa)
thank whats felt of a girl, thanking the wealth of the world,
thanking the image of her, just thank her health or a cure..
thank whatever's prefered, thank religion and search..
thank the vision of earth on every inch that it turns...
a little disturbed, when you show you smoke hollows
to thank your foes... or thank your folks or role models
you chose it full throttle, blue demon truth speaking
fake nothing, grape dutching, i'm mood swinging
let loose with tributes meaning, my due reason
fools grieving, if I dont see all these foods feeding($)..
moon blinking over a diamond flow, i'm wolf screeching
and practice a ballance of highs and lows meeting
thank the soon leaving, and thank the new breathing
I tele-spit, but it's paralysis, I can't 'move thinking'
thank our few freedoms, passing a script as thunders faded
living rough or thankless, having a sibling unrelated
thanking the given god created... this pen in my hand
and a topic with the knowledge for it to set and expand
a tribute.... to tributes.........
GreaterDesignGrowers.com
Im not a rapper, im a gardener
ive just read both, cant decide my vote, ill read over it again after a spliff, then throw a vote down, lol...
ill edit this post
...pz
[youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
hmmm tough, no wonder no one has voted lol
cry- hmmm great metas, interesting concept, well executed. My only issue is i didn't feel like I knew anything different from the beginning to the end- ie. no real change or revelation in your verse. I think you tried about 85% here...great wording, flow, imagery all of it, but the meaning wasn't awe inspiring "everything is everything" meh, but solid verse anyway, because everything else was flawless.
Bob- when I started reading your verse I was thinking "wow, someone is going to beat cry"...but you fell off big time imo...starting with the ten bazillion "thank"s in the middle. It kinda feels like you took the cheap way out at the end. I hate to say that, because the first half of your verse was awesome, I loved the "outside the box i was raised in" and the "negative poles", I can tell you're very apt to intellectual and creative writing, I just wished you would have kept a bit more focus towards the end.
vote- cry, for a more consistent, though less explored, topic.
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"Are you playing with yourself?" "Who said I'm playing, I'm being serious!"
Cry-
Damn, this shit was sick man.
The imagery was crazy.
As well as the multies, dope.
Concept was interesting and done well.
There is not much at all I can say bad about this piece.
Flowed nicely and it just painted a picture with ease.
Great job.
Bobby-
Started off nicely.
Had some dope lines, that outside the box bar was fresh..
Vocab wasn't bad, wording wasn't too bad.
Topic was a little off here and there towards the end.
This was a nice, not spectacular, but enjoyable piece.
Vote goes to Cry for an all around better piece.
A more enjoyable read and brought all the elements to his writing.
Didn't lack too much.
V/Cry
Trapped within the lights of the city..
Where it looks full of life but inside it's all empty..
And from outside it's all tempting..
What..it's all lies upon entry..
:noor:
[YOUTUBE]uGEHlYk4M5c[/YOUTUBE]
Aaron - this piece was eloquently written. You brought in different ideas which gelled in together here. Your metaphors and multis were enjoyable to read and painted very nice pictures bro. I didn't really find any flaws in this read. I read it like 3 times and seemed to enjoy it each time. Big up and thanks for this one.
Bob - Ionno, this was a fun read, for most part in was sublime and fluent but somewhere you lost your momentum bro. The vibe just fell off. Other than that, this was still a clever and entertaining read. I would have just liked to see a more consistant flow and a bit more emotion i guess.
Vote; Cry
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Scytsophrenia
On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.
[soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]
3-0.. sorry i had to close it at this bob.. I would've rather it stayed open.
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