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Thread: Lost

  1. May 16th, 2003, 09:48 PM #1
    Profound_unique1
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    Lost

    I dont know what to do
    I dont know where to turn
    with every mistake
    there is a new lesson learned

    Free fall from a space void of light
    into a darker abyss
    this is my plight
    Standing lifeless on a plateau
    surrounded by hells fire
    as for hope I have none
    my heart is tied with barbed wire
    I crawl on through the darkness
    escaping the fire through repent
    each plateau I reach
    has an even more gruesome decent
    though my heart becomes more ravished
    the closer I get to my goal
    my mind becomes more clearer
    but I need them both to be whole
    I got to hold on
    ive got to stay strong
    one day I will be free
    but will I still be me?

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  2. May 16th, 2003, 09:49 PM #2
    Profound_unique1
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    eh I got distracted. ..

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  3. May 17th, 2003, 02:29 AM #3
    Lab Rat
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    you got distracted? that mean you gonna add onto that or is it as-is? its pretty good anyways
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  4. May 17th, 2003, 03:50 AM #4
    OpTiKaL iLuZion
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    nice sonnet
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  5. May 17th, 2003, 12:20 PM #5
    Profound_unique1
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    I lost my focus when my phone rang, not exactly how I was readin it inside. But thank you.

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  6. May 17th, 2003, 12:58 PM #6
    Legendary
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    It was really good. Not much else to say about it. I'd quote my fav lines but I liked the whole thing.
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  7. May 18th, 2003, 11:29 PM #7
    Profound_unique1
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    Why thank you, I appreciate it =)

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  8. May 18th, 2003, 11:46 PM #8
    IdunKnoHow2Rap04
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    *smile* hey baby, Muah, it was good even though im still upset about the fact that u can rap and i cant..smh...I love you yo(cdfu)
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  9. May 19th, 2003, 09:21 PM #9
    Phantasia
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    D I wish you would tell me when you postin J/K liked it chick! It was way betta thanthe last one waaaaayyyy bettea!! Any who thanks for havin my back and I liked your up-do it was cute lol!
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  10. May 20th, 2003, 01:44 AM #10
    your_end
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    i think tha whole vibe was beautiful, i can tell this is from deep within, ya word usage was meaningful for the poem.... everything was just set in... loving it... very nice...
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  11. May 20th, 2003, 09:08 PM #11
    Profound_unique1
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    * cheezin hard *, why thank you = )

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  12. May 20th, 2003, 09:40 PM #12
    deacon
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    Poem had it moments but was filled with a typical rhyme scheme. Many people who approach that type of written fail because they tend to be either to basic or too obvious.You rode the line on this one. Keep writing i can see your movement up is not just a figment of my imagination.

    -1-
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  13. May 20th, 2003, 11:15 PM #13
    Profound_unique1
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    * blushing *

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