Rhyme Cypher

[Bag Mandela]

Dimethyl Morpher, teleporter,
I'm fly n milkin it like metal saucers,
Pass through the playboy mansion collecting stalkers,
I used to be a respected baller like Kenny Walker but now if I was a penny poorer I'd be living on the somali-kenyan border,
Introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Henry Horner,
we haven't met before but you have a sexy daughter,
how much for a 2 night rental order that may cause post traumatic stress disorder?"
"Ok, is that your way of saying someone else has bought her?"
On the grind like I've got a pestle, mortar, and various items that are getting smaller,
I stay Ice cold like a yeti sauna,
But got my work cut out like a Welsh dyslexic author,
Fighting a billion year sentence for lemming slaughter

Next Rhyme: Malteser

[Virbius]

I’m robbing all Peter’s, and it ain’t for repaying Paul’s either.
I abhor Jesus. A born leader; I build and destroy like I’m Lord Shiva.
Nah I just gorge pizzas and bump beats through Korg speakers, so loud that the tall cedars all teeter.
Warm beaver’s a broad genus. I perform steamers in porn features and cause seizures. My balls can store four litres;
Hardly maltesers; “the lighter way to enjoy” whore skeezers.
I once stopped chonging bongs, just for a short breather, and started sweating so bad thought I’d caught fever.
So sick with a stick, coulda taught HEMA, or fought creatures like Norm Reedus.
Got stopped by the cops, they asked “are you George Peters?”...dunno, uh, according to my forged visas I’m four geezers.

Next rhyme: diplomatic

[Bag Mandela]

Like I'm on a trip to China being diplomatic,
I brought every tool you can use to skin a cat with,
Stool chart, this shit is graphic,
Bury em alive, bangin on the box like tryna fix the static,
I'm harder than tryna get Soar to rhyme multisyllabics,
Veggie, go hunting n send shots to miss da rabbit,
They love to buck-it, I came to help em kick the habit,
Kill an addict, like I'm adding fentanyl to packets,
Fuck an AK, Uzi, I'm not a clip fanatic,
I go against that logic, cease-n decist-the-matic,
I'll write a message sayin Facebook's shit n twitter's tragic, Instagram it, upload a virus to my phone n let these keyboard ninjas hack it,
I got a bitch thicker than a winter jacket,
(.)[.] And her tits are in a different bracket

Next Rhyme: Reliant Robin

[Virbius]

Ay, I’m still pissed off at the Mayan prophets...
Since 2012 ain’t see life abolished like they kinda promised.
Dickheads.
I confess to cops, just coz I want my crimes acknowledged;
I got police sketch artists drawing up violent comics.
I get high and drive, coz I ride a comet.
My rights are wrongest and my lies are honest and I’m like Adonis and that’s kinda modest.
Got your wife besotted; I could prolly write a sonnet, flex on skets in Byron’s homage.
Got your Bride a knocking like the Kill Bill chick inside the coffin.
If it’s not clear, I’m god tier like Poseidon’s sobbing.
I’m the guy whose rhymes are dropping like the bodies of the tyrants that tried to stop him.
I survived a bombing.
Got disciples plotting.
I went to hell, and designed the lodgings.
I go diamond shopping in Reliant Robins.
X-mas day, I left a severed leg inside the stocking.
Christ’s a novice, I’d rather trip and find some solace in tiny goblins.
Vagina rocking, hymen popping, I’m like if Ryan Gosling’d collide with Hopsin.
It’s besides the topic, but did you know there’s a Croatian tennis player named Ivan Dodig?
Also, Phil Collins’s son is named Simon Collins, and my old health and safety advisor at work was called Brian Hopkins (but I spilled some shit and he died of toxins).

Next rhyme: dinner party

[Bag Mandela]

They call me posh smoke, welcome to the dinner party,
No pants on outside the house of Windsor armed with a big salami looking like someone glued 50 Sharpies to 50 Sharpies shouting "I'm gonna bang your missus partly cuz you're a Ginger Nazi!",
Every time I hear rusks I think of Farley,
My bitch spends too much when she drinks Bacardi,
It's 10 times worse when she's sniffin charlie,
She couldn't manage-her card-if she was Mick McCarthy,
How do I fight? Think of Arnie if he did karate,
Fast n ladies love it like a pink Ferrari,
I let em duck the left - I call that shit the bhaji,
Cuz then they eat a load of rights like a biryani

Next Rhyme: Areola

[Virbius]

Now we’re all wearing masks so we don’t catch corona...
But I’ll still be rocking a mask to the shops when the panic’s over.
(So they don’t catch me when I smack the owner).
I’m feeling like a wolf in a lamb enclosure, feeling like mentos in a can of cola.
Flows as rare as a polar bear in Arizona or as a banded cobra in Manitoba.
I’m crap at poker, coz my tell’s a massive boner, so the table flips and the match is over.
I act dumb when I’m drunk, and even more erratic sober.
I pranked the Joker, compared to me he’s a bland persona.
I chat with Yoda. I practise yoga in a damn pagoda.
A Casanova...
I banged a gang of vapid posers, had to plastic-wrap the sofas.
How comes every time I compliment chicks on their areolas,
They’re like “lo siento, no entiendo, soy española”..?

Next rhyme: frosty morning

[Bag Mandela]

I fucked Suzy Snowflake now Frosty Mourning,
He's got the pigs on his payroll that could be a costly porking,
The amnesia I grew up in my lofts appalling,
So the Dutch - foul - orange warning,
They see you inflating but don't want ya ballin, well try all ya like you'll never stop me zorbing,
I'm such a mess up top you'd think it's Boris talking,
So labour intensive you'd think I rock with Corbyn,
I went from one night stands, dodgin texts askin why I wasn't calling,
To a browser history with a lot of porn in,
Cuz I can deal with lower levels of endorphins but no matter how many times I get forced to watch Dear John it's boring

Next Rhyme: Leather chaps

[Soar Kaid]

It’s a lighted morning outside while I’m in my Leather Chaps ,
Leather Chaps? ,
Doesn’t mean I don’t have the mind to ever clap ,
Speed racer does that thing with his crew whenever lapped ,
Hittin fast balls out the ball park that Severs bats ,
It’s the Corona Virus that forever lasts ,
Splice brains of cross species to make a clever rat ,
Broke the clouds up just to make the weather black ,
Hell boy quotes to those that brought the Devil back

Next rhyme: Stolen words

[Virbius]

Hey, Bag, those were some clever raps.
Had me screwfacing like some lemon schnapps.
If I ever saw pressure stacked, it was just a weather app.
I dropped a lot of ket, then I ran seven laps.
I sniffed an ounce of coke, and had a pleasant nap.
I’m up in the party, but I’mma take a lengthy crap,
Walk back in and get a clap, like ‘wooo yeah the legend’s back!’
Never fraff...
I fed Tiddles liquid acid, and she turned into the Cheshire Cat.
I’m damn drunk, tryna slam dunk the severed head of Shaq.
I’m on road wi... nah, I’m fucking stuck in a neglected flat;
I’m always mad para someone’s set a trap, but that ain’t what I mean when I say I smell a rat.
My crib’s a mix of Dexter’s Lab and West Iraq.
I’m on road with a treasure map, having some kinda mental lapse.
My recollection of events has got hella gaps.
I only lie coz I’m too lazy to remember facts.
Shorry occifer, that guy’s head collapsed... Nah it wasn’t me, it was his aggressive hat.

Next rhyme: rotisserie

ETA: sorry Soar, crosspost. Next rhyme: Stolen words

[Bag Mandela]

I got a noticeably stoned alert,
Trying to rhyme rotisserie with stolen words,
I wrote history after becoming so concerned,
In the future most Kids'd need something dope to learn,
The scroll written reads: being sober hurts,
But don't hit the street, getting run over's worse,
Yours sincerely,
Mr I promote chivalry in an open shirt,
On my phone Tinderin while I bone ya bird,
No diggity, bag it up like I don't go to work,
But I'm a shopmobility enrollment clerk, Only girls, the roles beserk

Next Rhyme: default damager

[Virbius]

Who’s Bag Mandela, uh, is he Soar’s handler?
My default damager’s a three-four calibre, shot from the window of a three door Acura.
Nah honestly I couldn’t be more amateur, I’m dumb as a motherfucking seahorse saddler.
I shoot police cars, sounds like ‘nee naw... ba-ba-ba!’
Nah I’m a reformed character...
Got players hitting the ‘dex’ like they need more stamina.
I use C4, like a queen’s pawn capturer.
I waterboard, like a seaport passenger.
I’m raising a club, like a b-ball manager.
Nice with a bat, like esteemed lord Dracula.
I’m in the lab going through Igor applicants.
This ain’t even rap, I’m a freeform banterer.
I can fuck up my grammar and still seem more naturaler.

Next rhyme: source of corruption

[Soar Kaid]

Hmmm... it seems like virbius is the source of corruption ,
Poppin lava wasn't what you wanted so I'm worse than the force of an eruption

next rhyme: Virb equals gay

ha...ha...ha...ha...

[Bag Mandela]

The statement 'virb equals gay' indicates a preferred semen glaze upon a sperm eaters face, Not sure I bi that without proof to confirm either way,
I work, sleep n prey, on girls, legal aged,
My type of birds steel n clay, that's dirt cheap n grey,
Ideally keen to start a tribute band called Earth, Sleet & Rain,
I hate women comedians, I will murk Tina Fey, face swap the bitch I'll make that smirk leave her face, I rhymed fey with face, the words weak today, but I take solice in not making them up to look hurmeliate

Next Rhyme: Gorgonzola

[Virbius]

I’m an enormous stoner, often in some sorta coma on a corner sofa with a porn aroma.
Nah, I’m a former joker... see, I had poor composure til I thought it over; I have to take more responsibility now I’m a porpoise owner.
Sniffing coke, but Soar’s persona got me snorting cola.
Popped to the shops for... nah, I mean... I went to the store for soda,
Coz I got lost and ended up in fucking North Dakota.
I’m on road in some Jordan loafers.
I get too high to drive, and a portal opens.
The law’s atrocious, false and hopeless, brought to focus and they all provoke us and ignore the voters like the former POTUS.
Ain’t no-one coming close, it’s like I caught corona.
I got heart, carved out a former owner like an organ donor.
I only got ’em open when I fought for closure.
Never getting that work... I spilled korma over my forged diploma.

Next rhyme: versatility

[Bag Mandela]

How am I gonna rhyme versatility without bigging up virbs ability,
I got a poker face of perfect symmetry,
Harder to judge than if you worked in Sicily,
If we're talking things that make me want to hurt em physically,
There's not much they can say that's worse than 'literly',
I employ animals n get big top it's circus mimicry,
I drew a dick on the queen's head, she said "that, sir, is visionary",
I used to run trains but the others never had a girth as big as me,
I had to say you're Frieda go first like German chivalry,
Last man doesn't protect the pussy from sperm delivery so when I-ran I-came-in-it like Persian dynasties

Next Rhyme: Bully's special prize