Until The End of Time

[A Disciple]

Until The End of Time

Insanity was always on the table and a horrible plight
I rather been dead to heaven than had to of fight this fight
Shit worse when they switching and I can’t even feel like myself
At first too innocent and trusting but this shit wasn’t ever about wealth
If only I knew what the fear was to all the rest
A position done changed and now I’m more than just a vest
When the world turns to slow mo or the clouds go speeding by
Its way easier than posing or being burned by the sky
If I had a heart left everything has changed
For the fear of knowing the exact for them I rearranged

Reminiscing of the days it was just me tripping in my low low
To the question of how many tried to put me below
I never for a second thought that Ced would ever leave, I thought he always had my back
But money change and friends estrange especially when under attack
From the days we used to rent uhauls cause we were too young for hertz
Or getting so fucked up we lock ourselves out the house in just boxers and shirts
I got to get it in order, I never thought I’d see the day I’d become so consumed
Some days it feels like the only thing that matters is a hit of white powder in which I ruined

All souls never came against me, all eyes was just a thang
But when them witches hit or the song would split just all the bullshit that writing bring
Yeah I stepped, I stepped to see… made a bed 8x and dismissed it as just acting crazy
Waiting in a parking lot I wrote a web of words in all red
But when no one ever came I threw it all out instead
Humiliation will curb a temper and bitch someone proper
Like getting drunk and blacking out only know one stopped her
Don’t think stay busy cause anytime I got a chance… I’d lose it like a victim of circumstance
Tired of forgiving and I don’t want to anymore and my heart is heavy cause my tug was to war
It’s the same thing when you swore you’d never pull it and almost did
I used to count the years I’d still be in serving that bid

They always tell you what they want but never mention what they forbid like the lonely life of a sad man that never got to live

Until the hands of time…

[A Disciple]

It's a rough draft... I always said I'll show you the concept and be honored for any line you wanna use... but I don't flow I just write - if I ever sell my shit its so that THEY can make it THEIR own too... and I have a strange habit of perfecting tweaks in what's already out too. But that's just to make it my own. So what is up with Lil Wayne and Babie's shit? Since I had an owl in my mirror long before owls ever talked about as well as in the car when he allegedly shot me too. I got a lot of Games shit but didn't know about a lot of albums and for some reason couldn't find them for download. My favorite one word that I would sing then skip... "RED" "it's a very emotional color" just like on 50s I'd scream "FIRE" and skip too. I've had more moments all alone in my low low than I had with some of my past friends. Have the battle was feeling so stupid that I wasn't alone.

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I got to take a nap and get to the salon... my chin hair off the mother fucking hook right now! Wanna hear something funny? My whole life I never realized how I just speak when I get a thought in conversation and just bust right thru. My brother checked that in 2 seconds. Now I'll be conscience of that moving forward. My father's death brought our family back together and I'm so scared it's going to fall apart again. I need my sister AND my brother too.

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The craziest about the polar and mood swings is... one second you so mad and hopeless... and like an hour later you know it's still going to be ok. Oh and another one liner I love to sing but get so mad at the song... "Cause I'm the realest bitch in this" I love when that hit... and I love the song - just hate the rest of the words and what you all saying like...

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And I chose the entrance of the movie in my head was to "Take it in Blood" and the way that bass hit. And then I have to say DMX. I mean to me Biggie and Pac the captains and the givens. But those were probably the top 5 that influenced me. It really is so hard to say and narrow it down cause I guess which category? There is like 20 I really and truly love. And you can't say Kendrick wasn't spitting some real shit too etc. PS I was the bitch in pajamas when I stole that Lex still running for my life (if that helps sort things out) I can't laugh like I'm corporate girl but don't get me back to my hood. I never want to go ninja like that again. </3