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Thread: passing afternoon

  1. #1
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    passing afternoon

    There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon
    Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon
    And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her
    Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

    There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days
    Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made
    And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings
    Sunday pulls its children from the piles of fallen leaves

    There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass
    Springtime calls her children until she let's them go at last
    And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring
    Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds

    There are things we can't recall, Blind as night that finds us all
    Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls
    But my hands remember hers, rolling around the shaded ferns
    Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned

    There are names across the sea, only now I do believe
    Sometimes, with the window closed, she'll sit and think of me
    But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know
    A baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  2. #2
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    nice deacon

    the wording in this piece was really good, you got the meaning to your piece across to me very well by the wording man, the imagry was strong, the set up to this piece fit in good, just relating all the things that you did into the piece just fit perfect and it made me interested into your piece here, this is exceptionally well done being you haven't dropped in a while, i'm guessing you've been writting still anyways though by the way you came here, very well done my man, this was a good solid piece from start to finish, never had a doll spot in it

  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Damn Deacon, nice comeback piece. I havent read anything from you in awhile and this was really good. You described everything so well and you said everything to perfection. The image you gave while I read this was outstanding nice job.

  4. #4
    These are the lyrics to a song with the same title by Iron & Wine.
    A really beautiful song I heard not long ago.

    Is it yours?

  5. #5
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Deacon can you please reply to this, see links. I hope you can justify why you posted something that seems to be bitten from a home recording artist in Florida. We just had a situation where a good amount of a poets posts here in PS were found to be bitten. Since then people have been looking closely at what is posted here. Right now I need you to respond and let us know what the Heck is going on bro. Just waiting on clarification Deacon, being in a band I've seen similar situations. Please clear this up man.

    -Bounce

    http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.n...256EFE00066667

    http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.n...n-lyrics-Iron-
    Last edited by Bounce; September 27th, 2004 at 12:25 PM

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  6. #6
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Upping for an explanation!

    [YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
    "World Class War" Official Music Video
    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  7. #7
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    rightfully so.........this piece was of a folk group called Iron and Wine.........He's actually a friend of mine...........our groups in the past have played shows together and what not...........In honesty I just didnt feel like writting a long elaborate piece.....so i figured i'd see what rappers thought about him.......anyways......Get rid of me...im garbage........

    ending words......


    fermented sentiments with pieces of genericism
    we merit wisdom with fake fancy imperialism
    only fair to have gimmicks, its rythmic parable tickets
    Im just a witness visiting another mans visual sentence
    carried various wisdom to the fairest of diction
    a charitable pension roaming hands to get a grip on

    What? Life?

    Dont believe in how it seems, im just as crooked as you are
    mimick the mimicker as quick sand falls faster than stars
    immorbiddly barred and scarred from these fancy trickery cards
    Im just a contendor....A rapbattles pretender a writting kings farce....

    Ha ha you wish that was the truth........
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

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