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Thread: Serenity Of Maddness

  1. #1
    Newbie ambercruise's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
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    Riverside, California
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    Serenity Of Maddness

    I turn right at Four Corners there at walk
    and don’t walk. A place I can go where I don’t
    have to talk. It's a place I call Five Points.
    Where I found a small room.

    It's a mad room, a sad room, but mostly a glad room.
    A place that I go when this world gets me down.
    When there's just too much doom and there's gloom
    all around.

    When everything and everyone just gets right in my hair.
    It's there that i can go with some things i want to
    share . Sometimes i share pieces and pieces of bits.

    It's just like a puzzle whose pieces don't fit.
    Til i’ve twisted and turned them and squinting one eye.
    I can finally see where that piece ought to lie.

    Where i can still choose if i go or i stay.
    I don't have to finish that puzzle today.
    It may not make sense but it don't have to.

    I'll leave all the pieces right here in this room.
    So perhaps i'll return to my world again soon.
    But if it be elsewhere that i choose to roam.
    I will always remember there's no place like home.

    Only make believe
    amber©2005
    Last edited by ambercruise; August 7th, 2005 at 11:07 PM
    :scared: HUGS, AMBER XX

  2. #2
    Taeisbeast.'s Avatar
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    I see that you have some stress built in, and writing poetry is a nice way to let it all out. Very nice here, try using more emotion and the imagery is there. Just a little bit more. Nice concept, but get a little bit more in depth, express your feelings. Overall, its decent. You need work though.

  3. #3
    Newbie ambercruise's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for your input
    :scared: HUGS, AMBER XX

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