they way i feel, took 3 minutes

[endovidualmind]

no more will i take the time to worry
cant figure the way each sign is turning me
joining my heart and mind as one
seeing sights through a blinding sun
im feeling stunned by my ignorence
shown so much un-returned sentiment
would spend my last dying breath for her
sent my everything and left with concerns
place my heart by a red fern and wait
here it will stay,and prey its not too late


just wrote this in like 3 min. i had to write something about how i feel, so yea its short but to me it has a deep meaning!

~1~

i dont really care if you like it or not

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

Sup endo..
I thought this piece was tight..In a short time, you transferred a lot of emotion to the reader, broke em off some of what you were feeling..Very nice imagery and symbolism in this.

>place my heart by a red fern and wait
here it will stay,and prey its not too late

I got sort of a pit in my stomache when I read that cuz it made me think about a lot of things in my own life..Even though you had a specific someone or something in mind for it in this piece.

Very nice piece all n all.
I felt it lots.
Keep blessin us, n stay up.
Peace n propz.

[endovidualmind]

ayo thanx, im glad i you got something outa this
like i said its short but i just spoke my emotions
not the best, structure or content but that doesnt matter to me at the moment..... nice to see someone was feeling this though

~1~

stay up

[Varentao]

Nice....a short burst of emotion...executed fairly well....methinks that's enough said....respect...

[endovidualmind]

thanx yo!

[Civilized Rebel]

Hm... not sure what to say.

I actually believe I understand this peice. I really do, so it really spoke to me. And I can understand why this would take three minutes... but the question is, were they fast minutes that feel like moments? Or the kind of minutes where each second is an hour?

Anyway, I liked this piece especially cause I feel like I know what you are trying to say in it.

Mo-mentai.

[endovidualmind]

the ones that feel like every second is an hour yo!

~1~

[K-D]

i think i got this....like you don't know what to do... that she did something or whatever and now you jus think'n bout shit... sumth'n like that....

so within a three minute mark....this was gud... but that line that goes....

would spend my last dying breath for her

is say'n that you would but now you wouldn't, you atleast coulda elaborated on that....why.........? you get me....

well anyways....overall nice piece...

...........7/10

[endovidualmind]

no i said "i would spend my last dying breath for her" because i would, nothing said i wouldnt.....

its about how ive worried about the way she feels for me for so long and havent really recieved that love back, and im just not gonna trip over it anymore, if she wants to love me then she will come give that love to me and only me...so i wait!

thats about it, the complexity is all inside the short but meaning full bars, eventhough it might not seem that way!

aight pz~1~