NiNjah Red 4-0 Vs Glory 4-1

[Tim]

NiNjah Red 4-0 Vs Glory 4-1

Checkins Due Friday May 12th 11:59 PM Western
Verses Due Sunday May 14th 11:59 PM Western

Topic: The souls the coldest place

Vote on 3/4 battles. More if possible. Thanks.

[Glory]

should be dope.

g'luck.

[NiNjah Red]

yeah, bless

[NiNjah Red]

http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/9633/1679713df.jpg


A Soul‘s the Coldest Place
Concerto in D-minor



When my fillet & flesh is rotten & I ‘m forgotten physically
...possibly - there’ll be devils & cherubs fighting over me
Spiritually enhanced elders dancing on air compare tales
above sits a staircase to Bliss; below is a gateway to Hell
Tempers flail viciously as my essence is held in suspension
drifting lightly w/o a shell, it’s frosty between dimensions
Then somebody mentions my sin, & I sink titanic amounts
a guardian in cold lilac robes breaks thru the panic & shouts
“Raise This Man Apart, This Man Has a Heart”
Then I noticed that she hit notes in C-sharp…
as she strummed a hymn wit her hand on the harp
Her limbs expand, & she holds a face that mirrors my own
Mother Nature reveals visions in shadows once never shown
We’re not alone in this place; hordes assemble strictly girding
they resemble mermaids of the air… then swiftly twirling
Among them are wild beasts of the gorilla plus flying horses
twin princes stand by the brim of darkness fusing forces
Heavens trumpets thunder amid the wind of seven judges
I see those reaping grudges fade into uneven smudges
Sic of this plague of wickedness my ethereal body resists
I say to Satan “Fuck You” six times, shit still he persists
The air brews bitterness as this bitch arrive’ looking slicker
sniping at me w/ fists clench looking hench as prison niggaz
Could of ducked him…
should of reached a decision quicker
Bleak Reaper set to tempt me w/ reefer & carbonized liquor
Grime despised grim & dire sordid spies classified for hire
“I’m baptised in raw fire as my eyes are chastised for desire
my mind is fried to the wire probing for a certified Messiah
Smiting backstabbers & liars posing as allies amid Martians
chameleon bastards changing faces, twofaced & Spartan
True hate stays smarting; they wish my Soul frays starving
I wonder these days “Do these snakes intend to take my place
in Jah’s Garden?”

R.I.P
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*****
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[NiNjah Red]

yo Glory i'm not 100% if i can drop 2morrow. will have it wrote. but might not be able to get online untill monday. tuesday the very latest.. i will try drop today/2morrow. if not i request an extension


1

[Glory]

fine with me. I may have to make that same extension...finals are coming up.

[NiNjah Red]

edit 1


...............................................

[Glory]

The Soul's the Coldest Place
-Death and Divorce-

Even the kindest of eyes can lie
Behind the height of a rising tide
Like a light left trying to hide
In plain sight of a midnight sky

A prophet cried, soul-drenched were his honest eyes
On the soft-dim night of a sacrifice of haunted lives
His promise died, stepped on his pride and withered
Alive and bitter, he tried to hide his lie and quit her
Their ties were littered, with spread debris of tragedy
That fed a tree of seeds that bred seas of callous deeds
A malice plea, began in dreams that sadness freed
So he planned retreat like the feet of a panicked thief
His sanity singed, sunk slowly into its own centerfold
Holding only a note he wrote hoping to let her know
But as feather’s flow, it never floats in a set direction
So his note was never read with her eyes inept discretion
In the end it never mended the mistake of no longer loving
“To death do us apart”, beyond cliché became nothing
Their two words that claimed truth birthed, also died too
Piercing apparent marriage intwined by lawful “I Dos”
With thoughts that tried too, only left true love to perish
As though it was but a fling of lies for those who bear it
So now he stands alone, without her hands to hold
Tears frozen in time and through the man’s open soul
Whats left is broke and cold, by the vice grip of an ice pick
Cutting into his heart as his kiss did to his wife’s lips
She never gripped that he’d lie, in the mist that he tried
And so she let go of her own, to grant his wish as she died

And so now he casts his honest eyes, upon her battered folds
With failed attempts to let go, of her cold and captured soul

[CrosT Over]

Ninjah Red: I Really Enjoyed The Take On This Topik...i Felt That The Imagery Of This Piece Is What Kept Me Intrigued....vokab Was Right Behind Imagery In This Which Enhanced The Overall Status Of This Piece...as For Rhyme Scheme I Think You Knocked It Out The Park With The Use Of Detailed Rhymes And Internals...great Write I Enjoyed This Immensly

Glory: I Dont Believe Your Take On This Topik Matched That Of Red's For Overall Enjoyment But Yet In A Strange Way I Think That It Captured The Truly Cold Place That Is The Soul With Detailed Imagery And Intense Vokab...i Feel That This Piece Was Displayed As An Entrance To The Mind Of Lost Lovers...which I Think Is Something We Can All Relate Too..i Truly Felt Your Piece Was Emotional As It Hit Home For Me

Overall These Were Both Good Reads And This Was Tough For Me To Choose Which I Liked...personally I Liked The Way Red's Depiticed The Story Of A Tormented Soul After Death...and The Way Glorys Took A Tortured Soul Here On Earth...for More Emotion And Better Read Overall

V/ Glory

[Glory]

thanks for the vote. good battle red.

[T-Square]

Close battle but the topic was brilliantly played by both of yall,

Ninjah- good read, great wordplay and scheme, liked the lines,

Heavens trumpets thunder amid the wind of seven judges
I see those reaping grudges fade into uneven smudges
Sic of this plague of wickedness my ethereal body resists
I say to Satan “Fuck You” six times, shit still he persists

Glory, also good read, and good lines from you.........

But as feather’s flow, it never floats in a set direction
So his note was never read with her eyes inept discretion
In the end it never mended the mistake of no longer loving
“To death do us apart”, beyond cliché became nothing

\/ Glory, I liked yours overall jus a little more, a better ending in my opinion

[Tim]

very awesome battle from both of you very original and very close both had the things that made each others verses good Ninjah like the flows your had liked the style and concept i picture was also something nice to look at but gloy i felt just came a bit harder and nicer with a more finished off story in my eyes

vote....glory

[Bounce]

Damn you guys...

I have been a fan of both of you for some time, fuckers!
Both came really strong here, I expected red to nail this down and he was just a bit shy of that. Damn good, but in comparison to the way glory's story pulled together, I think you were just shy of the mark.

Story wise, I'm going to have to say glory was a bit more completel, and as mentioned not as good as red take on topic, but it had a completed feel to it.

tough battle for voters here.

vote = glory, but not by much...

[Tim]

NiNjah Red loses 4-1
Glory wins 5-1