Sacred Scriptures
Week 3
Verses Due Saturday 7-21-07 11:59 PM Pacific
Voting Ends Tuesday 7-24-07
For a list of rules click --> Sacred Scriptures Rules
Please vote on battles
Sacred Scriptures
Week 3
Verses Due Saturday 7-21-07 11:59 PM Pacific
Voting Ends Tuesday 7-24-07
For a list of rules click --> Sacred Scriptures Rules
Please vote on battles
uh oh spaghettiohs
:O
Twix in.
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uhmmm he hasn't even checked yet...
and i leave tomorrow for a music festival...
i would write a verse tonight... but id rather get ready... and it really dosen't look like he is gunna show..
so if he dosen't post...ill drop a now show verse... if he does ill drop a verse in the morning...
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sorry im going to post twix I've been doing shit this week. Don't worry about it.
I might post tonight, otherwise it will be tomorrow.
A.I.
"She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
Crazy minds
The Vine twists and plunges in with subtle grace
misplaced steps to the minds eye, behind a mud covered face
beneath a puddle of shake i congulate thought...
unravel a stand point and let the argument plot.
"I stand here a free man...
yet held in place by laws wrought unjust."
More brainstorming combusts
"as we thrust into a new age,
half our race is left beaten into the dust.
while white supremacy thrives in rage.
we must write into our books a new page
with angles set on equality
and not a single persons salary or fame"
What does this lame think hes doing
confusing his place among the greats
yet when the time comes to face the truth
hell crumble beneath fist and mace
i guess no one else will speak, its up to me
to turn and put and end to this disgrace
" tell me Sir how have we not earned our wages
planted our feet on soil, and broke free of cages.
staged our being among the people
yet i admit i'm guilty... of taking no mind to the feeble."
"broke free of cages?
yet the bars where set in place by the famous.
you stood along with a look of greed an opportunity for changes
shameless... waiting for the right time to input more exchanges."
More of a stand point then i expected...
yet falsely erected, and set in place by sympathy as expected
i've heard this lectured, and it never made a true bearing
i'm glad the common room is gathered to hear our voices blaring.
"Do you think this can all be fixed by sharing?
as if it was set on us to feed every mouth worth caring
i stand here swearing if i could i would..."
"Yet here you stand unsparing...
ready to thrust the blame elsewhere
turn a blind eye, and swear at one point you cared
then swear again as our society crumbles, that its all fair."
"Time"
I made a point.... hit with the final jab...
set in motion and turned hearts moving slabs
the foundations in place... now the judgment call
today is the day the wicked would fall
With a snicker from the opposition the changes are read
"Taxs temporarily lowered so more can be fed"
Anger flares as my head falls to my hands...
tears run clean, will this justice i ever understand?
is humankind really willing to take lives as the cost?
cause then i was wrong to fight... we are already lost.
Last edited by Twixn...; July 20th, 2007 at 01:37 PM
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Whatever it Takes
I gave up sleep, I need time to ponder...
My mind will wander as it grieves
and leaves the present for a past that lasts longer...
I'm restitute, tired and tested through...
The clamor of life --- a slow-slit knife is arrested too...
But unless its true I guess it's still selfish...
To tell this to a guy who wants to lie on your pelvis...
...Tryin' to sell this idea to a skeptic...
Ecleptic personalty gives way to reality's wrecked ship...
Banality's best flip is turned and distorted...
The commonplace now dominates the poor kid...
The face absorbs it, emotion --- erased and replaced...
By a man standing, --- demanding whatever it takes...
It's writing for votes that makes it exciting to most...
Like uninviting a ghost to a ouija table,
Please still be able to post...
I write so my soul --- Drip! Drips! Blood on the page,
No love for the stage I don't wanna be famous
My aim is to be spontaneously contagious...
Catch my disease and write til' it leaves
and white blood cells attack the thought of rap
And replaces 'em with captions of creeds...
The fractions of threes is divided imagine if these
pies were impacted like decided beliefs...
I scratch until I itch and laugh until I'm coarse...
It's never the stakes you just do what ever it takes
Until you see black snowflakes --- on July the Fourth...
It's motivation that's made the flow amazin'...
So low I'm wastin' the time I'm given
To live in an ode to vocation...
Is it strength that we search for?
Caused by angst that still hurts more
Than any pains for monetary gains in the third tour?
I said I'd never stop trying,
I'm not dying --- my reverance breaks...
Staring in the face of doom doing whatever it takes...
I'm better at breaks,
It's continuation I'm bad at...
I'm a replacement for someone else's soul's basement in glad wrap...
Preserved and paraded for
The learned and elated...
I've chosen clothes but it's known my mind arose naked...
...To do whatever it Takes...
A.I.
"She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
Had to reread both verses to decide for this one.
You both obviously put a lot into these pieces, though that is. Envigale with your eloquent words and Twixn with your worldly knowledge, with a touch of history. What made this battle difficult to decide on was that the pieces were in a complete opposite spectrum in every which way possible. So for me it honestly came down to the verse I enjoyed more. close one, could go either way, but for me...
Envigale
Great job to both.
peACE
Twixn- Which side do you take in this debate? I found it interesting that you wrote from inside the mind of the antagonist in the situation. It was interesting to see the capitalist thought process as well as his interesting use of "logic" behind it's arguments. I liked the whole dialectic tone of the whole thing, people don't write like that often enough. However, because you were switching between speakers so often, I found that you had some flow issues...The rhymescheme was nothing special, but it would have been cool if your mechanics were as dope as your content. Interesting flip on a shitty topic.
Engivale- I loved the vibe of this. The "black snowflakes" line reminded me of this dude who was talking about torn retinas. He said that if you tear your retina, which only happens to like 1% of all people that exist, you see black debris flying around your field of vision. I assume you meant the little black dots that come in front of your eyes because of bright light, such as fireworks. July 4th. Your ending line is the dopest single line I've read from you. "I've chosen clothes, but it's known my mind arose naked." I'm seriously thinking about sigging it. That shit is awesome. The whole off the wall verse was awesome. Purely stylish, dude.
This was a very good battle, but E was just too dope this week. Twix, I dug you verse hard man.
Vote-Engivale.
wordperfect?
..o0Pure0o..
Twixn, I am always a fan of your work man and this proves why. The whole idea was a little wierd when I first started reading your piece, but now that I have read it all the way through, the consistency and coherency mended themselves together and it made for a great piece. Flow was alright, but the emotion and imagery both stuck out and made up for your lack of vocab a bit, but all in all, nice piece Twixn.
Engivale, I am lovin' the flow man, it's pure fire. You always have such intricate wording, yet such a great storyline to go along with it. And that may sound bad, but honestly, what I am saying is that you don't substitue your content for your flow, you do them together and that's what really makes it so pleasing and easy to go with in your pieces when I read them. I think that your closer is pure dopeness, like Maven said. Overall, you did a real nice job.
v/Engivale, nice battle guys
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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Vote: Eng
Twixn, decent take on the topic. I like the conversational aspect of the piec, but, at some points had to go back and reread so that I could understand. The flow and rhymescheme weren't the greatest. Decent piece though.
Eng, nice flow and rhyme scheme. The second stanza was pure sickness. The idea of loving to do an art and not necessarily needing the fame and money is dope. Those people are the true artists. Nice. Long live art for art's sake.
Hence Forward
axis powers
Engivale wins
Twixn loses.
Artificial.Intelligence
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