Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Best Friends Sister

  1. #1
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Best Friends Sister



    ...We made a promise to always protect each other,
    It's certain circumstances made us closer we was like brothers - and sisters how we would kick it after my parents divorce...
    When I tricked myself into thinking all I had was just stripped from me gone,
    you listened and sit with me all - night on the porch.
    Twin to my best friend, you the girl next door.
    We knew the consequences of keeping our feelings secret...
    And your brother seen it but he chose to never speak of it
    I guess it's better for all 3 of us to keep it...
    no matter we'll whether through any weather together that was the tenure.
    We was the three amigos soprano bass and the tenor...
    Worse off without each other in devour you make me better...
    And so the seasons change and we grew up yea grew up,
    now we do us and us perfect for me grateful
    this is working for me thank you
    I wouldn't change us for the world...
    I wouldn't change a single thing you like my angels.

    ...We made a promise to always protect each other
    I forgot it for an instance...in an instant just as quick as
    I could blink it, shots fired I turned around to bare witness.
    I was the target missed, and this was none of his business.
    This was none of his fault, he wasn't even involved.
    I was the one in charge he's just a causality of war.
    I'm not asking for forgiveness, I tryna find out who did this.
    I know it won't bring him back now I'm just looking for vengence.
    ...It through me for a loop though. Still searching for a loop hole
    I just can't believe his gone, 3 amigos down to 2 though -
    we still promise, don't ever forget the promise
    don't ever forget the time we spent together we're still bonded.
    And that'll never change even though your brother gone we'll still pay omnish.
    When I get out we'll finish what we started.
    And 9 months later after all we're patiently waiting here for a baby.
    We'll have a boy and name the baby Jason.
    Last edited by Sugar Kane; November 23rd, 2007 at 08:35 PM
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    Nice. It was simple but yet it hold so much energy. I like the flow, very easy and you have your own stlye, I like that. The Imagery of this piece was good, very detailed and simple, yet, done very well. The Emotion was there, The 2nd part in your verse holds Just that. The vocab could be up a little, I have to admit, I was kind of bored with the simplicity of your words and wording, It could be up a little. The concept is good and the approach you've took was good also. All in all, good drop. Even though the wording was out of range and the simplicity made me some-what bored, I still think you've drop a good piece. 1luv.

    -Return the fav, plz

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ls-353530.html

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Peace.Love.Unity.Respect.

  4. #4
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Philly®Delphia
    Posts
    22,046
    Battle Record
    83-5
    Awards 75+ Wins

    Re: Best Friends Sister


  5. #5
    ima G
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Age
    37
    Posts
    389
    Battle Record
    5-2

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    This piece was straight, but basic.. I think that next time you should pick another font so that your lines doesn't look so damn stretched. Overall i enjoyed this piece and i think that it could've been alot better in some areas. But your imagery was well put together but you should next time try to add in some multis. also, next time you shouldn't pick such a basic topic and go for a more in depth deeper topic to write on... keep it up.

    6/10
    Grim85.

  6. #6
    ima G
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Age
    37
    Posts
    389
    Battle Record
    5-2

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-353704.html

    hope you can return the favor and drop some feed on my new open mic^^ thanks man.
    Grim85.

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    S.C.
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,522
    Battle Record
    18-28

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    Damn this sounded like it was kinda painful for you...glad you wrote it down to try and sort the feelings out...i kinda wasn't sure...did this really happen if so..sorry for your loss.

    great Post......8.5/10

    favorite lines were:
    no matter we'll whether through any weather together that was the tenure.
    We was the three amigos soprano bass and the tenor...
    Worse off without each other in devour you make me better...
    And so the seasons change and we grew up yea grew up,
    now we do us and us perfect for me grateful
    this is working for me thank you
    I wouldn't change us for the world...
    I wouldn't change a single thing you like my angels.

    keep posting

  8. #8
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    it's a piece from the soundtrack from the movie The Breaking Point loosely based on my life, Jason dies in the movie but in real life he just got shot.
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  9. #9
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    Feed?
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  10. #10
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Age
    33
    Posts
    17,788
    Battle Record
    11-10
    Awards OM HOF

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    Upping this. Thanks for following the rules.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    24 x OM Hall Of Fame

  11. #11
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    don't I always, c'mon let's get some feed
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  12. #12
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    boston
    Age
    34
    Posts
    6,748
    Battle Record
    64-44

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    good read, the flow was as natural as ever with the word choices creating that necessary emotional connection to the reader. i mean the plot was sort of bland to me though, If anyone was going to be shot it was obviously going to be the brother. maybe I wanted to see more of a twist to keep the energy you had at its peak, it definitly wasn't a let down ending it on a good note. I liked the idea of how the pact wasn't really broken after he died. had a real positive vibe to the writing.
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  13. #13
    BKA Split Broly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Glendale AZ..originally Stl MO
    Posts
    2,109
    Battle Record
    7-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    This was very nice, a tad bit simple but it still held a great
    sense of emotion, and imagery that i liked alot
    the concept you used was IMO a kind of rare one
    but executed very nicely, keep writing, im looking forward
    to reading more from you.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  14. #14
    Count Akuma (2012) Sugar Kane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Toronto (Malvern)
    Age
    39
    Posts
    730
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister

    good looks on the feed.
    SUGAR KANE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  15. #15
    BKA Split Broly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Glendale AZ..originally Stl MO
    Posts
    2,109
    Battle Record
    7-1

    Re: Best Friends Sister


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. My Sister Says
    By Chris Blacker in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: February 12th, 2009, 07:37 PM
  2. Eminem and 50-cent, friends or more than friends
    By Glock Works in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: March 9th, 2005, 04:03 PM
  3. So my sister.........
    By Tony B in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: February 10th, 2005, 11:28 AM
  4. From A Sister To A Sister
    By Mz.Damu in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: November 29th, 2004, 11:20 PM
  5. Like a Sister
    By whytegurl15 in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: April 16th, 2003, 11:41 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •