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Thread: Conscience

  1. #1
    Same OG Sting3r's Avatar
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    Conscience


    Conscience


    My mind is up for retail, the sale is bail but hell..
    most will only appreciate it for that new car smell
    the new cartel of well, wont fail until it's derailed
    Till you're sipping ale reading email to every detail
    Waking up & your only hope is a politician's promise
    Till we're all up wishing on it, honest, sipping tonics
    We listen topics, economics, objects gripping phonics
    It's just nonsense, so we chase brews until we vomit
    The news is ironic , a project of enabling sheep
    So they can just strike when we're weak and asleep..
    Fucking vegans at least cease, before more bells..
    Unite big brothers & comrades with out George Orwell
    But anger makes you stupid, aggressive & dumb
    Yet intelligence is useless, moved lips got nothing done
    A nudist caught ducking sun, not Confucius with a gun
    So Good thing there's musics when the mood hits, ONE


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...et-388411.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-388406.html
    $usernamejoshs

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  2. #2
    Same OG Sting3r's Avatar
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    Re: Conscience

    Quote Originally Posted by YD View Post
    i liked this alot man, the multies metas an flow were all on point, fav line,
    "Fucking vegans at least cease, before more bells..
    Unite big brothers & comrades with out George Orwell"
    aint heard shit bout animal farm since highschool man lol
    we should colab, i got some shit wrote that i can pm you an work out the kinks an shit if your interested hit me up
    lets get at it, oh..

    I was referencing 1984, the book.
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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Isaiah Thomas's Avatar
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    Re: Conscience

    This was a good piece, In my honest opinion I think it was smooth but since the way I probably read it, I flowed differently; so with that in mind there was a few little things that I thought should be taken out

    little as in, instead of saying 'the news is ironic' , to me it should be 'the news? ironic'
    because the 'is' is stretching it when I read to it, but thats just me, I try to read text drops like they have some audio flow, but were 2 different people so were bound to read/say things differently.

    Other than my picky ways I still think this was good and this was my favorite line because it stood out and 1984 is my favorite book haha

    "Unite big brothers & comrades with out George Orwell"

    It's all love no hate here fam, peace.
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  4. #4
    Same OG Sting3r's Avatar
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    Re: Conscience

    thanks for the feed & I do write with audio in mind.
    you may have been right on some parts, but I like to just write a 16 and leave it to scrutiny :P
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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Isaiah Thomas's Avatar
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    Re: Conscience

    haha oh cool

    bump.
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  6. #6
    Rosetti il Genio Rosetti Frost's Avatar
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    Re: Conscience

    nice multis and metas...............flowed pretty good and it was a short read which i can appreciate
    [YOUTUBE]QS8lbfHUI3Q[/YOUTUBE]

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