Passin By

[BrownMoney]

2nd
tried to add more in rhymes
and tryin to improve my vocab

move quick like pops for the booze
dude lit blunts like marley no need to snooze
gotta stay up paper chaser dont lose
outta stay calm cuz the cops abuse
Pigs amused by the screams when they seen
Rapist and killaz killin but they arrest the feens
We born corrupted so we born politicians
Its a flustered world bold n air conditioned
Neva Fuckin hoes bear no contradiction
Neva show love fatal addiction
no cure no prescription Im on a mission
Reassure you're condition call me the physician
Dont ask permission born avarice so ill succeed
wont pass the blunt I aint sharin weed
indeed political prisoner sellin seeds
smoke up n toke up till hes freed we on it
only fear of legalization how do i profit

[BrownMoney]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...346/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...355/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...202/index.html

[Cap4]

"and tryin to improve my vocab"same her.lets work

"Rapist and killaz killin but they arrest the feens"some one need a doc,someone need a loya.i only need doctor dre
"We born corrupted so we born politicians" we live in a political cage.the only way out tu be totaly free.yu bust yur energie and frequency up.tu be free
"wont pass the blunt I aint sharin weed" comeon puff puff pass-like my uncle snoop said
"only fear of legalization how do i profit" fuck the tax-damm right dont share whit that

[Lil_º]

Not a strong closer.. you always gotta finish hard.. n i didnt think "we on it' amd "profit" rhymes very well.. as far as the middle where i was using bigger word i thought it was decent but i felt as if some of the lines were incomplete or the bar didnt make sense maybe when ur saying it ur pausing or sumthin but its pretty good yo

[N.F.M.]

It's not bad. I kinda like it. It's not the greatest, but it's not horrible either. On a scale between 1 and 10, and 10 being the greatest, I'd give this peice probably a 5 or 6 so it's not too bad but I think you can do better. Like someone else said, you could've finished it off a little bit stronger. But all and all, I'll give you props for writin it. Keep rappin.

[BrownMoney]

"and tryin to improve my vocab"same her.lets work

"Rapist and killaz killin but they arrest the feens"some one need a doc,someone need a loya.i only need doctor dre
"We born corrupted so we born politicians" we live in a political cage.the only way out tu be totaly free.yu bust yur energie and frequency up.tu be free
"wont pass the blunt I aint sharin weed" comeon puff puff pass-like my uncle snoop said
"only fear of legalization how do i profit" fuck the tax-damm right dont share whit that

thanks 4 makin my rhymes look 10 times better