Think you know me?

[SenecaHaze]

Think you know me?

start off on the wrong foot but I had potential,what?
& some say lost opportunity is unintentional, but..
Im so busy sabotaging myself I'd say it was on purpose
lookin back what ya learn is not a damn soul is perfect
you think you know me? , mouth full of gold teeth
so hard to be low key with this no seed Pops sold me
think you know me? full of ramen what I eat for D
madness when the hustle & struggle is what rewards me
then when ya take a forty m-g down with a forty o-z
& since ya windows dont close its colder than an O.D.
unraveled rage unfolds call it the blind you wont see
& bold deeds make your holes bleed in your own seat
"with this crime,he wont survive the business grind"
"he's split in splints the last seconds blitz his mind"
witness mine & ya wonderin who we had to hit this time
its fine since death isnt an obstacle its the finish line

but if you think you know me
cant be even i don't g...
my population decreased
so i do know the deceased

stayin just one...

step ahead of the devil
my choices are forever
so get down to my level
& get to know me better..

think you know me?

[SenecaHaze]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8247056
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8259274
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8259281

[trajik]

So you know your way around a multi and an internal rhyme, most being simplistic but it's a start. You had pretty decent flow in this piece, between the rhyme scheme and the syllables that were matched pretty well. Some of your wording here and there seemed to read a bit awkward. Also, consider using stronger vocabulary, consistently. Your content lacked any real substance and originality. Everybody wants to tell the world they grew up poor and tote guns, there's no emotion in it, people have read or heard it a million times. There is no more sympathy to draw from with pieces like these.

Thanks for the feed my piece.

[SenecaHaze]

i know its been done alot but when you really grew up poor and lived poor you tend to want to express it. i wrote this on the anniversary of the death of my friend... Terry... R.I.P. i will come up with something more lyrical next tme towards idk random topics about what feed ya get or politics or somethin gay like that instead of real life.I just needed to get this one finished and off my chest.

[SenecaHaze]

bump i guess