you can take these words whatever way when i say em
but you cant change my opinion on disissions when i make em
i got a past just like everybody has
but the past is the past cuz it doesnt last
everything went so fast i couldnt keep control
of you or myself i spiraled and didnt ask for help
when i know i needed it the most but first and foremost
was to know that i had everything i needed i just didnt know
and i couldnt show what i needed to
even when you needed me to no emotion i was frozen
wrapped up in my own selfishness an i didnt notice it
at first it took a long time to realise
consumed by fear an lies but time flys
people can change going from rage
to the realisation that i was the one to blame
i just aimed everything at everybody else
never looking in the mirror seeing what i was doing to myself
but as the time draws nearer to fear being nothing but a blur
the pain and hurt just slides away as i look at my reflection
never again to mention the sensation i had with your protection
maybe its an intervention i needed a wake up call
like an alam clock goin off in my head to get me outta this slump
so after months of going over everything that was said
overthinking every message, every line of text
maybe it was never ment to be, and now i can see
iv gotta change it was for you, but now its for me
i never knew that happy was a something i could be
but you made me see that being happy was always in my heart
but its time to change and being alone is a good place to start




i know iv hurt people, but i should have treated everybody equal
i wasnt ment to be evil, to lie cheat or steal
but it feels like i could never do that again
imma tell the truth to my family and friends
and im amazed i still have friends to call friends
you deserved more then i could ever do
i was down on myself and took everything out on you
i had to try and battle these demons with the feeling
of treating everybody around me like shit and believing
i would never amount to nothing and putting
all of my attention in other places an brushing off
any intention making my life worth a damn on reflection
and it was never my intention to make you feel worthless
and when you were hurting i dint do it on purpose
im guess im not a people person it made it worse when
our show came to an end and you closed the curtain
flirting with the idea of ending my shit right now
i had to fight doubt with the hope i could move these black clouds
get back out and find a way to stand up to fall back down
but theres gonna be a whole new me from now on
get my shit together and whatever happens let by-gones be by-gones
its like i was out but someone left the light on there was always a glimmer
but its gone darker and outta this darkness
my heartlessness will never be apart of this
i promise this, ejecting my emotionless like shotgun cartriges
and you will never be apart of this
but you were smart enough to move apart from this
out of this darkness flys a phionx rising from the ashes






i was a bad man consumed by anger and greed
and you never once questioned or mentioned it was me
i made you blame yourself and i knew it was wrong
and when im gone, i just wanna be remembered
for every good thing i did not how my life ended
i defended asmuch as i could and offend everyone but
i should have listened to there point of view
and its a point that you bought up
and i tore it up being so thoughtless
i tourtured the tourtured make the awkward more awkward
an it was a thought that i could protect myself
from everyone one else but im still reeling
still feeling this feeling of needing to start believing
of getting over this grieving and leaving everything
i used to be behind and never again will i
commit to someone without admitting too everything
iv done and been through and its with thanks
i have to thank you for showing me, because of you
iv lost the old me an feel brand new
i know your happier now then ever and i will never
say anything to you again but if i ever hear from you
i will say thank you and to all my friends and family
thank you for seeing me through i couldnt do this alone
but now i realise that i have no choice i have to.