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Ok this was a good diss verse. It was simple but to the point. The emotions were strong. I can't tell you how to go at someone because this isn't really a topical thing but more on the battle note. Overall just with a little slips of the fluidity, it is a decent verse with MAD anger.....I will now read the response verse....
Why was I tagged into this thread?
I don't even know you..
CLA919, I absolutely love this.
You’ve got that raw, killer attitude that goes hand in hand with confidence.
You’re very talented. This was cool, the flow was good, stretched in a few parts,
but because the content was so cool, my care factor was close to zero to be honest.
You worded yourself really well, had heaps of ‘full steam ahead’ bravado, and pretty much killed it.
I’ve been looking at this for a few days now, wanting to feed it.
The thing that pops out to me, is maybe, try not using the word ‘shit’ so often,
or maybe, not in such close proximity,
example: “BITCHES and insecure jump offs are the ones to take it to the girl, the shit I can’t stand
Yeah, so I turned this shit into a joke, but the shit really ain’t funny” –Three times in one sentence seems too much, in my opinion.
Not because I care about swear words, I don’t. It might just be a bit of over-kill, that’s all.
I don’t really have anything else negative to say. I really like it.
I want to chuck a couple of lines out there so you know which bits I liked, but hey, I like it all, there’s heaps.
So here’s some. Just for the hell of it.
“I’m a find you hoe, in fact I paid to promote this
You better find a dark hole, in fact, nah, an abyss”
“Kinda coincidental this shit is align with my degrees
FREEZE,”
And my all-time favourite. This one’s gold plated…
“Loser bitch, you fucked up my holiday and you fucked up my buzz
Like I ain’t got nothing better to do then play around with some internet thugz”
Keep it up CLA919.
Great read.