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February 27th, 2022, 05:27 PM
#1
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He's amazing
He is amazing for his intelligence
He shows how wise he is
He is amazing for shiney in his eyes
when he talked about things he loved
He is amazing for his ability to make other people smile,
even when he is sad
He is amazing for his look
His style drive the girl crazy
He's amazing for personality
He has a heavy heart
Last edited by Lady Poet; February 27th, 2022 at 06:56 PM
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February 27th, 2022, 06:21 PM
#2
Landed
Re: He's amazing
Beautiful Vixen, thanks for dropping.
You've got some beautiful descriptions here with this guy.
Detailing so many wonderful attributes; his intelligence and his wisdom and his
ability to make others smile and many more. All this adds to the atmosphere you create,
helping it build a theme -an ode to him.
I would probably tell you to look at line three: 'He is amazing for shiney in his eyes'
Maybe you wanted to talk about his shiny eyes? Not so much shiny in his eyes.
Also the line where you say 'His style is drive girl crazy' would have sounded better
had you written it the way we speak naturally 'His style drives girls crazy'.
But I like that you've got this dudes list of hotness listed and ticked off just the way you like.
Good stuff Vixen
Keep that pen moving
Thank you
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March 2nd, 2022, 06:08 PM
#3
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