WK35: Fresh (10-9) vs FAQ (4-7) (FRESH WINS)

[miracle]

Regular Battle
Punches due NO DUE DATES
Voting ends on NO DUE DATES

Rebuttal Option

both competitors must agree to it at time of check-in
format is A, B, B, A (A posts first, B drops next, B posts follow-up, A drops final bar)

You have 24hrs from when battle was set to agree on rebuttal battle


You know the rules, if not, refer to the rule thread.

first to 4 wins
3-0 is a KO
@Fresh @FaQEyeReddit

[Fresh]

Check

[FaQEyeReddit]

Check.. aight let me put some power into it this time..

[FaQEyeReddit]

My ghost gun keeps sleepy hollows that pick him up like a train without hearing 2 choose..
If I let it eerie a vegetable soup, fresh blood over tracks aint see a soul but kept hearing bOoOoOoOoOm..

[Fresh]

Loyalty ain't your core characteristic, fired up promises melt with the soot
If you keep pretending that chernobyl, I'm gonna stomp you with the force of an elephants foot

[Virbius]

Fresh’s worked fine, I liked the Chernobyl wordplay but had to google how it related to an elephant’s foot. Not sure whether that’s on me or if it was a bit too obscure of a reference.

FaQ’s bar was a FaQ bar, which is to say it was hella ambitious and had a lot going on in terms of wordplay but some of the elements seemed kind of disparate. There’s guns, headless horsemen/ spooky themes, trains, soup. I loved the ‘hearing to choose’ / choo choo wordplay, but I don’t think ‘without hearing to choose’ sounds natural or makes a whole lot of sense in the context of the sentence.

Ah dammit, voting against FaQ feels like kicking a puppy, but I think on balance I slightly preferred Fresh’s bar. It was more focused and cohesive.

Vote- Fresh

[Slayerr.]

Pretty much agree with everything virbius said; faqs bar had a lot going but was a bit disjointed and a mess instead of a clearly constructed punch that was all pulling in the same direction. 2 choose was funny as fuck tho loved that. Freshs was decent but also had to Google Chernobyl link to elephants feet (even feels weird typing that out)
V/fresh

[Bag Mandela]

Faq had a lot going on but didn't quite pull it all together into a solid punch, 2 choos was pretty joke though. Focus more on landing the punch though, maybe if you start off with your best wordplay being the punch and work on the set up after. It reads like you've written the set up first rather than having a focal point your set up builds up to.

Pretending that chernobyl / elephants foot concept is hard, it's one of those where it's difficult to make it work without it sounding flimsy but you did a decent job.

Vote Fresh

[FaQEyeReddit]

Yeah I totally get it bros don’t feel bad about being truthful I appreciated all the advice shot out to fresh

[Lady Poet]

FAQ Punchline isn't a bad punchline
I felt like Fresh Punchlines more polish compare to FAQ

Vote-Fresh

[miracle]

fresh wins