Ransom Writers Chat

[TheShaman]

The only issue with it is it’s too pixelated to confirm he’s really black

you getting f***ed over like the ugly girl in a threesome

Damn.

I think it's technically still a simile, but super dope nonetheless. I don't get what's so bad about similes, though. I think they've been an integral part of rap since the beginning. "Sharp like razor, clean like soap. The simplest metaphors be the dope" [sic].

[Slayerr.]

That’s also not the bar in question but imma just use it as an example what I mean (and I’m by no means a hard hitting wordage expert)

But to me something like “you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over” hits harder to me than ending it with like the ugly girl in the threesome - idk just stings more and to me a similie is just the concept of the bar which you then need to word to have the biggest impact possible but it’s all personal preference init

[Virbius]

I think similes tend to be the easiest way to frame comparison bars so maybe the technique has been overused to the point it comes across as a bit passé.

Just dropping the ‘like’ and stating it as a direct metaphor seems to be in favour nowadays. The problem with that is it can result in some pretty weird statements like these:

[mal diction]

“you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over”

still a simile

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I think similes tend to be the easiest way to frame comparison bars so maybe the technique has been overused to the point it comes across as a bit passé.

Just dropping the ‘like’ and stating it as a direct metaphor seems to be in favour nowadays. The problem with that is it can result in some pretty weird statements like these:

you getting f***ed over; you just the ugly girl in a threesome


i get that

[Slayerr.]

still a simile

Yes, but the bar doesn’t end on a similie, which is my point. like a popped ballon it falls flat

It’s like in writing literature you can speak in active or passive voice, in this scenario, active it’s making the bar happen, passive - it’s happening to the bar. I think not ending a flip on a similie is more active and impactful

[EyeDealIstic]

In text I don’t like punches that end on a similie, I’ve always found it the easy way out and less impactful than incorporating it into the flip but that’s just me. Works in audio coz u have less wiggle room

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The only issue with it is it’s too pixelated to confirm he’s really black

No, your issue with the pixelations is you can't zoom into his crotch to estimate his "dimensions".

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Oh you nearly fell asleep writing your verse? What a coincidence, I nearly fell asleep reading it.

Hopefully you helped the other fellow finish before you did.

[Slayerr.]

No, your issue with the pixelations is you can't zoom into his crotch to estimate his "dimensions".

I’m guessing 5.56