@Slayerr. stepped up to write the mag so shouts to him
the 1-2 is back with a bang!
I’m making this mag from my phone so no fancy pictures for you illiterate text battlers just pure written content - just like these battles. Nice to see some vets and old heads resurrect from the dead - pleth, blas n ion I see ya! Shout out barcotic coming back this week like the second coming of Jesus. Fucking lay doubt too, this season could be shaping up to be the best one yet
The first week was off with a flyer with not only 0 no shows but actual timely votes, we are so back! What I liked about the votes were they pretty much all went the same way so either the battles were one sided OR as I’d prefer to think, there’s a wave length between us all of what we want to see which makes writing to the audience much easier as the season progresses.
We’re gonna do a week 1 round up, predictions for week 2, and then imma finish you all off with an orgasum of outlandish predictions for the season
Week 1 round up:
Blas vs LP
LP came better than usual hopefully a sign of things to come, blas came clean but I think he needs to step it up when he faces the heavy hitters but was enough for the W this week
Slayerr vs all seeing eye
Balance has been restored to the force, I finally avenged my loss to the suck dick for a bus fair line (if you’ve not seen that battle I do not recommend looking through the archives as it never happened). The egg had a funny punchline I thought rongly ritten was dope but rest of the punch lacked substance and I took the win with an egg shell flip
Ion vs bag
Tough match up for ion to shake the rust off. He came with a nice personal with an okay flip which would see him comfortably beat someone average, but as we all know bag ain’t average and dropped a cleanly executed punch with a clever flip and was just that level above ion this time out. Lesson for ion though anyone coming back and thinking anyone still text battling is wack is in for a shock. Hopefully this lights up a fire in him
FAQ vs bereft
I’ve not heard of bereft before but he’s shown me he’s a funny guy. If he can channel that humour and mix it with some word play or flips he’s gonna be a force. Sadly this time is funny and straight to the point punchline seemed a bit basic in a stylistic clash with faq who came with some dope dying flying colours word play. I find faq either has the dopest word play ever or he’s missing, kinda dude that has endeless flips but throw a lot of shit at a wall and not all of it’s gonna stick. Well this week I was lapping up faqs shit coz that was fire
Pleth vs MV
an old vet meets last seasons champ in the first round AND WHAT A FIRE CRACKER IT WAS! I’m aware voting is still open so can’t say much in here except both came hard
BOTW plet vs MV
Round 2 predictions
MV vs blas
Tough one to call, blas has latent potential but I think we’ll see it slightly later in the season, bag into MV is a tough start to the season and MV is on point lately
Pleth vs lady poet
LP came nicer last week than she has but pleth is too much for her
Bag vs barcotic
Holy shit this is gonna be fire if bar shows. I wanna vote bar because he was a monster back in the day but I think any form of ring rust and bags gonna clinch it. Imma go with bag but if they meet in the final (which is entirely possible) I think bar mightve found his groove and be unstoppable
FAQ vs egg
FAQ needs his word play to connect this week because we know eggs gonna come with a stupid funny punch that will make us laugh. Sleep on the eggs stupid punches at your peril but imma go with faq I think he’s motivated
Slay vs bereft
Seems like the egg with better constructed punches, dudes funny so imma have to come with some substance this week, gl brother
Knox vs ion
Welcome back Knox, should be a good battle this and probably the hardest to call, gonna edge it to Knox as I’m hoping he’s come back with a point to prove
Other outsider predictions:
Knox will bitch about voting and sign out after his first L
Barcotic will no show
LP will get her first W this season
Jack hallows will see Knox in the league, sign in and Knox will sign out
Virbius will stay ducking me
Barcotic may go undefeated if he stays in
Lay doubt comes back n goes undefeated
Slayerr will win the finals
Thank you all for reading and dropping some dope shit and voting in a timely fashion hopefully we can inspire some of the other users who were active until recently to come back @miracle @Art. @Fresh
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