Ransom Writers Chat

[TheShaman]

The only issue with it is it’s too pixelated to confirm he’s really black

you getting f***ed over like the ugly girl in a threesome

Damn.

I think it's technically still a simile, but super dope nonetheless. I don't get what's so bad about similes, though. I think they've been an integral part of rap since the beginning. "Sharp like razor, clean like soap. The simplest metaphors be the dope" [sic].

[Slayerr.]

That’s also not the bar in question but imma just use it as an example what I mean (and I’m by no means a hard hitting wordage expert)

But to me something like “you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over” hits harder to me than ending it with like the ugly girl in the threesome - idk just stings more and to me a similie is just the concept of the bar which you then need to word to have the biggest impact possible but it’s all personal preference init

[Virbius]

I think similes tend to be the easiest way to frame comparison bars so maybe the technique has been overused to the point it comes across as a bit passé.

Just dropping the ‘like’ and stating it as a direct metaphor seems to be in favour nowadays. The problem with that is it can result in some pretty weird statements like these:

[mal diction]

“you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over”

still a simile

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I think similes tend to be the easiest way to frame comparison bars so maybe the technique has been overused to the point it comes across as a bit passé.

Just dropping the ‘like’ and stating it as a direct metaphor seems to be in favour nowadays. The problem with that is it can result in some pretty weird statements like these:

you getting f***ed over; you just the ugly girl in a threesome


i get that

[Slayerr.]

still a simile

Yes, but the bar doesn’t end on a similie, which is my point. like a popped ballon it falls flat

It’s like in writing literature you can speak in active or passive voice, in this scenario, active it’s making the bar happen, passive - it’s happening to the bar. I think not ending a flip on a similie is more active and impactful

[EyeDealIstic]

In text I don’t like punches that end on a similie, I’ve always found it the easy way out and less impactful than incorporating it into the flip but that’s just me. Works in audio coz u have less wiggle room

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The only issue with it is it’s too pixelated to confirm he’s really black

No, your issue with the pixelations is you can't zoom into his crotch to estimate his "dimensions".

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Oh you nearly fell asleep writing your verse? What a coincidence, I nearly fell asleep reading it.

Hopefully you helped the other fellow finish before you did.

[Slayerr.]

No, your issue with the pixelations is you can't zoom into his crotch to estimate his "dimensions".

I’m guessing 5.56

[EyeDealIstic]

I’m guessing 5.56

If you actually messaged the man to ask about length and girth I wouldn't be shocked but would be disappointed in you.

[mal diction]

@Slayerr

you getting f***ed over like the ugly girl in a threesome

it's really not a simile when the predicate is metaphored or an entendre

That’s also not the bar in question

The Faq’s are, you’re wack tard, while I’m unseen like a fenced-in backyard
You’re truly a waste and there’s only room to cut the fat like a packed car

So I'll leave with this, or leave you with that. You ain't seeing me in battle raps.
Battle’s a wrap. You only come close but are not seeing this heat like candle wax.


all but one simile in my verse had double meanings... and whether like is said first or last, it's still a simile... plus i've always felt a properly phrased sim hits harder than a metaphor/entendre

this site, to me, lacks understanding of punchlines: you guys only feel an entendre is the way to go, and it gets played

when i started textceeing poetry(Saul Williams: look him up) and metaphors were the way to go... i guess it's just a phase you guys are going through or a phase we have to go through to evolve as better writers...

and dont think i'm taking the easy way out by typing similes bc i usually keystyle my verses; so it's the first thing that comes to mind

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But to me something like “you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over”

plus this is just long-winded.. and doesnt make sense

[Slayerr.]

All personal preference at the end of the day init

[TheShaman]

Yeah, I definitely prefer similies to all those wierd "I'm a this and that" statements. I also think straight up poetry and metaphors are dope, but then it also has to be good. Battle rap in general favours double entendres because otherwise people would just be on stage saying how they would kill a dude over and over again with no real interest or innovation. Basically, because the format is so tight: Kill the other MC, there needs to be a second layer focusing on the language itself. And this doesn't exclude poetry and metaphor on top of that. I think it's possible to spit something poetic in a battle rap context, although the format itself is very contrived. But the poetic ideas then usually emmanates from the figurative level or the interplay between the denotative and figurative level, as well as the actual sound and flow of the language. E.g. Bender's "you've been lying on those tracks like a damsel in distress" comes to mind: The very use of "damsel in distress" has a poetic flair to it, and how well the figurative and denotative levels both make perfect sense is just delicious. But yeah, this is actually quite like old school rap. @Slayerr , you really think the simile in that bar, for instance, make it worse? "You've been lying on those tracks: You're a damsel in distress" e.g. repeats the pronoun, and "Like a damsell in distress you've been lying on those tracks" kind of messes up the surprise "punchline effect" of rhyming on the compound concept "damsel in distress". I think similes are also just mainly there to make it rhyme and flow in a good way. Like you said, it also makes sense in audio, but to me text is basically just a blueprint for audio, so in that sense it's the same thing.